2011 is coming to an end and as Jochem, Nils and Elsa are off to the movies and Ingrid is out shopping with a friend I take some time to sum up the year. I don´t know where the time went this year but sure is that it went fast. It was a year of both joy and sorrow for us. In the beginning of the year Jochems father Jacques passed away. Losing someone dear is always hard but it also brought us closer together, our family. Jacques suffered from severe Alzheimer and I think that the person who suffered the most in the end was oma Nell (Jochems mother). Since the loss of her partner, with whom she spend at least 50 years, Nell has visited us in Sweden a bit more often which has been very nice for all of us. Jochems brother Harry and his wife Miriam also came to visit us this year and helped out with both our houses (painting the house in Ulricehamn, putting out gravel around the house in Vegby etc.). It is wonderful to feel what great family we have both in Sweden and in the Netherlands.
2011 was the year with an exceptional long winter and we had snow until April so the kids got to use their skis and snow boards a lot. Jochem spent spring in Brazil and the Netherlands working for Philips. He really enjoyed Brazil which is good as Elsa (11) will spend a month there in 2012 on a CISV summer village. I got a new job within the municipality as Project manager for the learning organization and also traveled a bit for my work to the Netherlands, Spain and Greece which was fun and challenging. One always learn new things taking in the perspective from someone else!
In May we had a “Fire station reunion”. 15 years ago, when I met Jochem, he was an exchange student at Lund University and many of the foreign student lived in an old fire station. We have kept in contact over the years and this year we arranged a reunion in Ulricehamn, Sweden for the former students and their families. Friends from Spain, France, Belgium and the Netherlands arrived for a long weekend in May and it was wonderful to see everyone again. The weather was great, the spirit high and it was clear that 15 years is not much time after all.
As both Ingrid (12) and Elsa (11) went on different summer camps with CISV to Austria and Denmark in July we had an early family holiday in June and went for two weeks to Rhodes, Greece. It was wonderful and the kids had a hard time choosing between the pool and the salty seawater. Nils (8) is set on going back but maybe we can find another warm spot to visit next year? As we keep on being involved in CISV (a peacekeeping organization arranging international camps all over the world, usually in the month of July) we have to plan ahead. In 2012 Elsa will go to San Paolo, Brazil and Ingrid on an interchange to Rome, Italy with CISV (www.cisv.org)
In the autumn Ingrid (12) started a new school – the International English School – in Borås. She has settled in well, having no problem with the classes held in English and is doing very well but it is a long commute for her. She spends two hours on the bus each day and has to get up really early in the morning. Luckily she likes it so much that it is worth the traveling. Elsa (11) and Nils (8) are still at the Montessori school in Ulricehamn and are both enjoying it. Nils is a keen soccer player and Elsa stays faithful to her main hobby – baking and cooking.
In August we also welcomed a new family member Geo, a German Sheppard. Geo is a military dog who will join the military at the age of 1 ½ and until then he stays with “a normal family”. Geo is a fun, active dog but also a dog especially bred for being used in the military. We love him but have had problems with his biting and do not feel that we can totally trust him when he is alone with the children. Therefor we have suggested to the military that he is moved to a family without young children. So far he is still living with us but will probably leave us in January. Our dog adventure ended quicker than we thought but safety for the children goes first.
In October we went on a one week holiday to the Netherlands visiting both family and friends but also enjoyed being tourists in “our own country”. We went to Amsterdam for a day, visited the Efteling attraction parc and celebrated Jochems 40th birthday. It was an exceptionally warm week and we traveled around the country in Jochems Audi cab.
This year we celebrated Christmas in Ulricehamn for the first time. We also celebrated oma Nell, who had her 80th birthday on December 24th. My father did all the Christmas cooking, my mother and Elsa took care of all the sweet stuff and the rest of us ate (for several days!) My sister Hanna, her husband Kristian and little Ellen and Lisa made our holiday complete and we had a really nice time together. Christmas is a time to enjoy family and friends, to relax and have fun together and to reflect on what has been and what is coming. Jochem is sure 2012 is “our year”. I am not sure what that means but it sounds good! If I look back on this year I also see the many moments with good friends and family, the spontaneous dinners, fun parties, weddings and the joy of everyday happenings. We had a good year due to all of you!
I hope you all, close by and far away, had a positive year and feel similar about 2012. And to end, I will quote my brother-in-law Kristian who said to me “ I live right now, right here and I don´t save a special moment for another day. If I feel that this is a special moment, I embrace it”.
Let's all embrace happiness, laughter and special moments in 2012! Hoping to see many of you!
Happy New Year!
May 2013
in Ulricehamn
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Small moments that lasts a lifetime!
I got a Christmas letter the other day from Bev Swanson. Bev, an American living in Idaho (US) is someone special whom I have actually only met twice. The first time was in the early 90s if I recall it correctly. Bev is interested in genealogy and had been looking at her family’s emigration from Sweden to America in the 19th century. She had put an ad in a local Swedish paper and my grandmother, who was also a keen genealogist , had responded to it and wanted to help in finding Bev´s ancient ancestors in the Kristianstad area (a city in the south east of Sweden and the area my father´s family comes from).
As my grandmother did only speak limited English (but was talented in German which was unusual for someone born in 1906) she asked my parents for help and so I got a chance to meet up with Bev and her husband Don when they arrived in Sweden. A few years later, I went on a trip to the Unites States and Canada and decided to visit Don and Bev in Idaho. I was greeted as a long lost relative and had some wonderful days with them and their family. At this time they had both retired but by no means had they cut down on their active lifestyle. Don showed me the airplane he was building and even took me for a ride in a small Cessna. I met the flying postman and tried on waterskiing for the first (and so far only) time in my life. Don, who was a retired liberal arts teacher, was a creative and talented man. As a younger man he built his own home and made an effort of not having any corners in the house.
In Sweden we have the children stories of Barbapapa (originally from France) and the blob-like characters in the story live in a house full of round rooms. When Don told me about the house he had built I thought to my self – he actually built a Barbapapa house! Don and Bev both made sure I had a wonderful time in the US and I still remember many of our late night talks about religion and spiritual subject. At one moment Bev apologised for Don as she felt that I might get offended by some of Dons ideas about how different religions interact or could interact but there was no need for this. Years later, when Dan Browns books started to fill the bookstores (writer of the Da Vinci Code ) I thought about Don and his challenging and inspiring ideas.
Don is no longer with us but Bev keeps in contact with me and my parents. It was great to hear from her now, see the pictures of her family and for a moment go down memory lane. Last time we met was in 1994 but even if it was a long time ago I have memories and ideas that will stay with me for a long time ahead.
Small moments that lasts a lifetime!
As my grandmother did only speak limited English (but was talented in German which was unusual for someone born in 1906) she asked my parents for help and so I got a chance to meet up with Bev and her husband Don when they arrived in Sweden. A few years later, I went on a trip to the Unites States and Canada and decided to visit Don and Bev in Idaho. I was greeted as a long lost relative and had some wonderful days with them and their family. At this time they had both retired but by no means had they cut down on their active lifestyle. Don showed me the airplane he was building and even took me for a ride in a small Cessna. I met the flying postman and tried on waterskiing for the first (and so far only) time in my life. Don, who was a retired liberal arts teacher, was a creative and talented man. As a younger man he built his own home and made an effort of not having any corners in the house.
In Sweden we have the children stories of Barbapapa (originally from France) and the blob-like characters in the story live in a house full of round rooms. When Don told me about the house he had built I thought to my self – he actually built a Barbapapa house! Don and Bev both made sure I had a wonderful time in the US and I still remember many of our late night talks about religion and spiritual subject. At one moment Bev apologised for Don as she felt that I might get offended by some of Dons ideas about how different religions interact or could interact but there was no need for this. Years later, when Dan Browns books started to fill the bookstores (writer of the Da Vinci Code ) I thought about Don and his challenging and inspiring ideas.
Don is no longer with us but Bev keeps in contact with me and my parents. It was great to hear from her now, see the pictures of her family and for a moment go down memory lane. Last time we met was in 1994 but even if it was a long time ago I have memories and ideas that will stay with me for a long time ahead.
Small moments that lasts a lifetime!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Changing times
Times are changing and I am slowly getting used to it. When I arrived in Ulricehamn 3 ½ years ago I was the last person to enter the new Development unit I Ulricehamn. On my team I got three talented colleagues who made me feel right at home. After 11 years abroad, living in big cities, changing to a small town and moving to a country unknown to Jochem and the kids was a big step. I am not sure what we expected of Ulricehamn from a social point of view. But, whatever we expected my three colleagues Håkan, Mikael and Daniel made sure I was one in the team both on and off work. Our first Easter in Ulricehamn we spent with Mikael and his family followed by many parties and fun events. We worked 40 hours (+) each week together and spent many hours off work in each other’s company. I have never had a group of colleagues who made me feel so included as they did and some days I went home with sore stomach muscles from laughing so much. We worked on different tasks most of the time but exchanged ideas and it was a very creative environment.
In the late summer Daniel got a new exciting job up north and moved away (at least 800 km away – Sweden is a big country!). Håkan, my boss who was the man behind the innovative and including approach to our work, got a new job in a nearby municipality about the same time and Mikael is now following him. In our reorganization at my work I got a new exciting job and some very nice and talented new colleagues but still lost some really good friends and it has been some hard weeks getting used to the new world. When everybody is on the move it is easy to start wondering if one should also get on the train or stay put. And actually, I have always been the first one to move on and to seek new opportunities so this is a new experience. I guess it is a good learning experience but on rainy October days I miss a good laugh with crazy colleagues!
In the late summer Daniel got a new exciting job up north and moved away (at least 800 km away – Sweden is a big country!). Håkan, my boss who was the man behind the innovative and including approach to our work, got a new job in a nearby municipality about the same time and Mikael is now following him. In our reorganization at my work I got a new exciting job and some very nice and talented new colleagues but still lost some really good friends and it has been some hard weeks getting used to the new world. When everybody is on the move it is easy to start wondering if one should also get on the train or stay put. And actually, I have always been the first one to move on and to seek new opportunities so this is a new experience. I guess it is a good learning experience but on rainy October days I miss a good laugh with crazy colleagues!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
The fashionable doglife
Suddenly autumn is here with plum-filled trees, homemade apple pie and a lot of rain. Our hallway is filled with rubber boots and even our puppy Geo is reluctant to get out in the wet weather. Life with a dog has had its impact on us. The hallway is now styled according to “less is more” with the emphasis on less meaning taking away anything bitable (somehow the rubber boots are not in Geos taste). So far a pillow, Elsa’s agenda and some newspapers have experienced firsthand what life with a young dog is all about.
I have a new wardrobe (or actually an old wardrobe with a new purpose) with my clothing system now being divided into work clothes, weekend clothes and dog clothes (the latter being worn by me and not the dog). Downside to this is that it is really difficult to find fashionable rubber boots. And why is the color scheme for outdoor clothing army green, brown or some other forest tint? I live in “hunter’s county” – give me an orange jacket so they don’t shoot me by mistake!
We have a new favorite. His name is Caesar and he has a TV show for dog owners. He is the dog whisperer but actually the program focuses on the main problem with dogs – their owners. Little did we know!!
I was thinking about TV formats the other day while zapping from cooking program, to fitness program, to raising kids, getting your dog in order, fixing up your house/ garden and getting a facelift. Do we all have serious problems or why do we need all this help? I am not against it and I consume this just as much as anybody else but I do wonder why I, after a long day of work, sit down to watch people creating the perfect garden (the one I will never get as I have neither green fingers, the patience needed or the time). Is it escapism, the need of imagining another life (a more safe and relaxed life?)? Actually many of these shows also show the difficult road people have to travel to reach their dream home/ dream life so maybe it is also a way of sitting comfortably on my butt thinking “glad I’m not in their shoes”. Whatever the reason the programs shown on TV reflects the time we live in and that is an interesting thought.
What will we remember from autumn 2011? What a dog life!
I have a new wardrobe (or actually an old wardrobe with a new purpose) with my clothing system now being divided into work clothes, weekend clothes and dog clothes (the latter being worn by me and not the dog). Downside to this is that it is really difficult to find fashionable rubber boots. And why is the color scheme for outdoor clothing army green, brown or some other forest tint? I live in “hunter’s county” – give me an orange jacket so they don’t shoot me by mistake!
We have a new favorite. His name is Caesar and he has a TV show for dog owners. He is the dog whisperer but actually the program focuses on the main problem with dogs – their owners. Little did we know!!
I was thinking about TV formats the other day while zapping from cooking program, to fitness program, to raising kids, getting your dog in order, fixing up your house/ garden and getting a facelift. Do we all have serious problems or why do we need all this help? I am not against it and I consume this just as much as anybody else but I do wonder why I, after a long day of work, sit down to watch people creating the perfect garden (the one I will never get as I have neither green fingers, the patience needed or the time). Is it escapism, the need of imagining another life (a more safe and relaxed life?)? Actually many of these shows also show the difficult road people have to travel to reach their dream home/ dream life so maybe it is also a way of sitting comfortably on my butt thinking “glad I’m not in their shoes”. Whatever the reason the programs shown on TV reflects the time we live in and that is an interesting thought.
What will we remember from autumn 2011? What a dog life!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Presenting a new family member - Geo!
If you have seen a barefoot man dressed in a bathrobe late at night in Ulricehamn it is not a flasher. Or, at least not if you saw him at Wallenqvistgatan. It is my hubby out on a night walk with our new family member Geo. Usually J is fully dressed but last night Geos needs were imminent and J had to run out with Geo in the middle the night wearing only a bathrobe. He hoped no one would be out and about but naturally he ran in to our neighbors who smiled friendly!
Geo is an 8 weeks old German Shepard that we will look after until he is 18 months old. He is part of a program to become a military working dog but until he is old enough to be tested he will stay with us. So far he has been with us for only 3 days but already we are all sold on him. When we first started talking about taking on a dog only for a year and a half the question was of course how we would deal with the parting. A dog is a family member but we are only hosting the dog and are not the owners so we cannot keep the dog even if we desperately would like to. If Geo is found suitable as a military working dog he can work as a mine detector dog or do other form or search tasks. The Swedish military service breed about 200 German Shepards a year and only 25% of them will pass the test to become military working dogs but even if he is not found suitable for the military he might be of interest for the police or other organizations using dogs. I like to think that we get to see him grow up and give us the pleasure only a dog can give and then he will move on to do important tasks for others. With the high amount of mines all over the world, causing horrible injuries to civilians every day, I think we need all mine dogs we can possible find.
Geo is still a really small puppy, sometimes scared and often curious of the world around him. Despite only knowing us for 3 days he is very obedient, constantly looking for positive feedback and wanting to do well. And we are all involved in making him fit well in with our family!
PS: Scroll down to "family films" in the right menu and you will find a film showing Geo!
Geo is an 8 weeks old German Shepard that we will look after until he is 18 months old. He is part of a program to become a military working dog but until he is old enough to be tested he will stay with us. So far he has been with us for only 3 days but already we are all sold on him. When we first started talking about taking on a dog only for a year and a half the question was of course how we would deal with the parting. A dog is a family member but we are only hosting the dog and are not the owners so we cannot keep the dog even if we desperately would like to. If Geo is found suitable as a military working dog he can work as a mine detector dog or do other form or search tasks. The Swedish military service breed about 200 German Shepards a year and only 25% of them will pass the test to become military working dogs but even if he is not found suitable for the military he might be of interest for the police or other organizations using dogs. I like to think that we get to see him grow up and give us the pleasure only a dog can give and then he will move on to do important tasks for others. With the high amount of mines all over the world, causing horrible injuries to civilians every day, I think we need all mine dogs we can possible find.
Geo is still a really small puppy, sometimes scared and often curious of the world around him. Despite only knowing us for 3 days he is very obedient, constantly looking for positive feedback and wanting to do well. And we are all involved in making him fit well in with our family!
PS: Scroll down to "family films" in the right menu and you will find a film showing Geo!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Her tears will turn into warm memories - a summer with CISV
So finally I got my family back together under one roof again. Ingrid (12) spent two weeks on a CISV youth meeting in Austria and Elsa a month on a CISV village in Denmark. Last year, as Ingrid returned from her CISV village in the US she spent the first day begging nonstop that we would all emigrate to Australia and the second day crying. Elsa has been crying a little bit every day for a week now while telling us that despite that she loves us, she misses her new friends so much. She wants to go to her best friends in Colombia, Brazil and the Philippines. I love the concept of the peace organization CISV (www.cisv.com) and I have many wonderful memories from my own trips as a teenager but it breaks my heart seeing my girl so unhappy. For four weeks she has spent night and day with 47 other 11-year-olds from 12 different nations, speaking only English and learning about peace, tolerance and shared wonderful moments together. And suddenly it is over, all children return to their home countries and despite Facebook, twitter, e-mail and Skype I think they know that the chance of them all meeting up again is small. She can’t get in contact with her Chinese friends via Facebook as it is not allowed in China. She is in pain!
Are we doing the right thing sending our children out in the world, having the time of their lives and then taking it all away four weeks later? I do think so. When Elsa cries she also admits that the pain she is in is worth it. She wouldn’t be without this camp for anything in the world. It has changed her forever even though she does not see how yet. Ingrid enjoyed her camp as well but this year’s detox is less painful than last year as her new best friend lives in Amsterdam which makes visiting a lot easier. Both girls are hoping for more CISV activities next summer and I hope that talking about all fun activities, looking at the pictures, sharing the experiences makes these wonderful weeks stay as warm memories to last a lifetime.
People we have to leave behind or will never see again are neither forgotten nor lost. They live on as we cherish them and the joy we have shared is passed on to someone else. So we create a world of friendship and one little camp can make waves for decennia’s to come.
Are we doing the right thing sending our children out in the world, having the time of their lives and then taking it all away four weeks later? I do think so. When Elsa cries she also admits that the pain she is in is worth it. She wouldn’t be without this camp for anything in the world. It has changed her forever even though she does not see how yet. Ingrid enjoyed her camp as well but this year’s detox is less painful than last year as her new best friend lives in Amsterdam which makes visiting a lot easier. Both girls are hoping for more CISV activities next summer and I hope that talking about all fun activities, looking at the pictures, sharing the experiences makes these wonderful weeks stay as warm memories to last a lifetime.
People we have to leave behind or will never see again are neither forgotten nor lost. They live on as we cherish them and the joy we have shared is passed on to someone else. So we create a world of friendship and one little camp can make waves for decennia’s to come.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Books and dreams about a Swedish life
It is summertime and we fill our house in Ulricehamn with Dutch friends and our summerhouse in Vegby (small town outside Ulricehamn) with even more friends. I love summer in Sweden and always enjoy showing family and friends the beautiful place we live in. This is, when the sun is shining or at least when it is somewhat dry. There is nothing better than a canoe trip on the lake or a bicycling trip on a sunny day as the surroundings are amazing here. However, when it keeps on raining Ulricehamn does not have a lot to offer. The swimming pool is closed, there is no museum open and the library is closed Friday to Monday morning. We have been to the science museum Navet in Borås and to Gothenburg which is great but I wish there was more to do in Ulricehamn. The bowling alley stays open but some kids are just too young to enjoy it. I guess I shouldn’t complain. Rain is better than drought and so far summer has been quite all right. We have filled the summerhouse with games, DVDs and some extra raincoats. However, there must be some business opportunities for anyone with a bright indoor idea!
I had two weeks of holiday in June and spent it on Rhodos with the family reading books in the sun. During two weeks I read six novels and four children’s books (I love reading for the kids) and one of the books I read was “A short story of Tractors in Ukrainian” by Marina Lewycka – a funny, crazy and tragic story. The book starts out like this;
"Two years after my mother died, my father fell in love with a glamorous blond Ukrainian divorcee. He was eighty-four and she was thirty-six. She exploded into our lives like a fluffy pink grenade, churning up the murky water, bringing to the surface sludge of sloughed-off memories, giving the family ghosts a kick up the backside."
This family drama is also a story of emigration, fulfilling dreams or chasing them. Somehow I always fall for books where people take a leap into the unknown or take charge of their own destiny (whether or not they do the right thing which you can ask yourself in this book).
Some people who are about to take a leap into the unknown shortly is the Dutch family moving to Ulricehamn now in August. A family of five plus an English bulldog is moving here and starting up a new life. For years they have dreamt about a life in Sweden, taking Swedish lessons and spent their holidays in Sweden. With a job in Gothenburg they now have the possibility to fulfil their dream and I wish them all the best. This summer we also had some other Dutch families from the emigration fair visiting the region and having a look at job possibilities (part of the emigration project I´ve been working on). So far our Emigration project is still under scrutiny but I believe we have to keep a very personal approach in this if we want it to work. Emigrating to another country, starting a new life, building up a new social context and achieving a sense of belonging takes time and demands more than a newsletter, a list of real estate agents or a description of the Swedish school system. I know – I have done it!
I had two weeks of holiday in June and spent it on Rhodos with the family reading books in the sun. During two weeks I read six novels and four children’s books (I love reading for the kids) and one of the books I read was “A short story of Tractors in Ukrainian” by Marina Lewycka – a funny, crazy and tragic story. The book starts out like this;
"Two years after my mother died, my father fell in love with a glamorous blond Ukrainian divorcee. He was eighty-four and she was thirty-six. She exploded into our lives like a fluffy pink grenade, churning up the murky water, bringing to the surface sludge of sloughed-off memories, giving the family ghosts a kick up the backside."
This family drama is also a story of emigration, fulfilling dreams or chasing them. Somehow I always fall for books where people take a leap into the unknown or take charge of their own destiny (whether or not they do the right thing which you can ask yourself in this book).
Some people who are about to take a leap into the unknown shortly is the Dutch family moving to Ulricehamn now in August. A family of five plus an English bulldog is moving here and starting up a new life. For years they have dreamt about a life in Sweden, taking Swedish lessons and spent their holidays in Sweden. With a job in Gothenburg they now have the possibility to fulfil their dream and I wish them all the best. This summer we also had some other Dutch families from the emigration fair visiting the region and having a look at job possibilities (part of the emigration project I´ve been working on). So far our Emigration project is still under scrutiny but I believe we have to keep a very personal approach in this if we want it to work. Emigrating to another country, starting a new life, building up a new social context and achieving a sense of belonging takes time and demands more than a newsletter, a list of real estate agents or a description of the Swedish school system. I know – I have done it!
Friday, July 8, 2011
A story about a cherry
I would like to tell you a story about the importance of a cherry. In the early 20th century an Italian family emigrated to the US. They had a daughter who grew up hearing about this wonderful country far away and when she grew old enough she decided to visit Italy and see this country she had heard so much about. Her name was Cecilia and she did not speak a word of Italian as her parents had fully embraced their new country and wanted their children to exceed in English.
I don´t know what year Cecilia arrived in Italy but Benito Mussolini was not yet a dictator and fascism had not yet taken control over the country so it must have been before 1922. Italy was all she had expected, with all the flavours of long time cherished dreams and it didn’t take long for her to find her soul mate. She married and decided to stay in Italy. In those days deciding to stay in a country as Italy with all of your family living in the US was a most definite decision. Transatlantic flight carrying passengers didn’t start until the middle of the 20th century and she most likely arrived on the transatlantic Italia Line, a ship travelling between the United States and Italy in the beginning of the century.
After Mussolini came to power life in Italy changed. Anyone opposing Mussolini was brutally silenced and Mussolini saw many as his enemies. Being an American in a fascist country was often not seen with positive eyes but Cecilia had made her choice. She had become a mother and Italy had become her home. In the end of the 30s the Second World War broke out with Mussolini supporting Hitler and Germany. Really hard times arrived for Cecilia, her family and many others. But, the war ended and contact was once again established with the family on the other side of the ocean. 80 million people died in the Second World War in Europe and so much was destroyed.
Still, life was turning for the better and Cecilia had become a grandmother. Her granddaughter had been named after her and together they used to open the big cross-Atlantic parcels that arrived from the United States now and then. They contained sliced pineapple and red cocktail cherries in cans – things that was not yet to be found in Italy in the 50s. Cecilia used to bake a special cake with a cream topping. In the middle she would put a red cocktail cherry and her granddaughter, little Cecilia, would be the one who got the cherry - a cherry that would leave a red mark on the white cream topping. Maybe the cherry was a reminder of loved once far away, maybe it carried the hope that life would get better? For little Cecilia I think it showed her that there were more worlds to explore and that love can be transferred in the shape of a cherry.
I was told this story a few days ago by little Cecilia, today a woman with two grown up children. We sat down to have a drink after taking part in a course in Successful Management of EU projects on Cyprus (a course with participants from all over Europe). Some of us got a cherry in our drinks but Cecilia didn´t get one which she did not like. So, she told us her story and obviously got our cherries.
I spent one week on Cyprus this summer with participants from Greece, Slovakia, Rumania, Iceland (living in Denmark), Austria, Germany, Sweden and Italy learning about project management. I am sure we all learned more about project management, but as so often in these international groups, I think the main lesson learned was something else.
I don´t know what year Cecilia arrived in Italy but Benito Mussolini was not yet a dictator and fascism had not yet taken control over the country so it must have been before 1922. Italy was all she had expected, with all the flavours of long time cherished dreams and it didn’t take long for her to find her soul mate. She married and decided to stay in Italy. In those days deciding to stay in a country as Italy with all of your family living in the US was a most definite decision. Transatlantic flight carrying passengers didn’t start until the middle of the 20th century and she most likely arrived on the transatlantic Italia Line, a ship travelling between the United States and Italy in the beginning of the century.
After Mussolini came to power life in Italy changed. Anyone opposing Mussolini was brutally silenced and Mussolini saw many as his enemies. Being an American in a fascist country was often not seen with positive eyes but Cecilia had made her choice. She had become a mother and Italy had become her home. In the end of the 30s the Second World War broke out with Mussolini supporting Hitler and Germany. Really hard times arrived for Cecilia, her family and many others. But, the war ended and contact was once again established with the family on the other side of the ocean. 80 million people died in the Second World War in Europe and so much was destroyed.
Still, life was turning for the better and Cecilia had become a grandmother. Her granddaughter had been named after her and together they used to open the big cross-Atlantic parcels that arrived from the United States now and then. They contained sliced pineapple and red cocktail cherries in cans – things that was not yet to be found in Italy in the 50s. Cecilia used to bake a special cake with a cream topping. In the middle she would put a red cocktail cherry and her granddaughter, little Cecilia, would be the one who got the cherry - a cherry that would leave a red mark on the white cream topping. Maybe the cherry was a reminder of loved once far away, maybe it carried the hope that life would get better? For little Cecilia I think it showed her that there were more worlds to explore and that love can be transferred in the shape of a cherry.
I was told this story a few days ago by little Cecilia, today a woman with two grown up children. We sat down to have a drink after taking part in a course in Successful Management of EU projects on Cyprus (a course with participants from all over Europe). Some of us got a cherry in our drinks but Cecilia didn´t get one which she did not like. So, she told us her story and obviously got our cherries.
I spent one week on Cyprus this summer with participants from Greece, Slovakia, Rumania, Iceland (living in Denmark), Austria, Germany, Sweden and Italy learning about project management. I am sure we all learned more about project management, but as so often in these international groups, I think the main lesson learned was something else.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Different habbits but a safe place to be
Tonight we had a school picnic at the beach in Ulricehamn with Swedish “brännboll”, soccer and some nice food. The children’s school is small and personal and it is always nice to sit down and talk to the different parents who happen to come from all over the world including Ulricehamn. I chatted to several newcomers from countries both close by and far away. I also said hello to Jochems new barber who is a civil engineer from Iraq but who decided to get a job as soon as possible instead of spending two more years to fulfill Swedish requirements for civil engineers. Sometimes I wonder how many people we have in our country working with completely different things than they originally planned to do. Feels like a possible waste?
The barbers son Achmed is in Nils class and he always greet us most politely every morning when we arrive at school. Jochem finds the strange habits of not saying a clear “good morning” or shaking hands when you meet someone in Sweden somewhat difficult to get used to and he really enjoys Achmeds polite manner. The fact that we in Sweden do not always say good morning, only sometimes shake hands or greet each other with kisses is odd to many foreigners. Jochem once asked me to explain when he should shake hands, when he should give a hug and why there are situations where you greet each other with a single hello but nothing more. I could not give him a clear answer. It is not impolite in Sweden to see someone walking down Main Street and just nod a quick hello. Or at least people will not get offended that you did not shake hands with them. Why this is I don’t know.
Jochem is off to Brazil and I hope he is having a nice time and a safe time. He is off to work for Philips Medical Systems at a place in San Paolo where three of his five colleagues have been robbed while visiting the company. This does not feel very safe so for the first time ever (after spending years all over the world) we have made a deal that he will write me an e-mail a day. I have never asked for this ever before so when I did Jochem said; ”- you are the last person to ever worry about these things so now I feel really worried! Do you know something about San Paolo that I don’t?”
I have never been to Brazil so actually I have no clue about how dangerous it is but Jochem going there made me think about how important safety is for your personal wellbeing. Just imagine all the energy you use on thinking about possible scenarios if you live in a dangerous place or the energy wasted on feeling afraid. When we lived in Johannesburg I always had to keep my mind set on the safety of the family (never stop for a red light, never drive after dark, not to walk anywhere, not to get off at the wrong exit and end up downtown etc.). Now I never think about these things anymore. It is nice to live in a safe place and good to realize it as well at times.
The barbers son Achmed is in Nils class and he always greet us most politely every morning when we arrive at school. Jochem finds the strange habits of not saying a clear “good morning” or shaking hands when you meet someone in Sweden somewhat difficult to get used to and he really enjoys Achmeds polite manner. The fact that we in Sweden do not always say good morning, only sometimes shake hands or greet each other with kisses is odd to many foreigners. Jochem once asked me to explain when he should shake hands, when he should give a hug and why there are situations where you greet each other with a single hello but nothing more. I could not give him a clear answer. It is not impolite in Sweden to see someone walking down Main Street and just nod a quick hello. Or at least people will not get offended that you did not shake hands with them. Why this is I don’t know.
Jochem is off to Brazil and I hope he is having a nice time and a safe time. He is off to work for Philips Medical Systems at a place in San Paolo where three of his five colleagues have been robbed while visiting the company. This does not feel very safe so for the first time ever (after spending years all over the world) we have made a deal that he will write me an e-mail a day. I have never asked for this ever before so when I did Jochem said; ”- you are the last person to ever worry about these things so now I feel really worried! Do you know something about San Paolo that I don’t?”
I have never been to Brazil so actually I have no clue about how dangerous it is but Jochem going there made me think about how important safety is for your personal wellbeing. Just imagine all the energy you use on thinking about possible scenarios if you live in a dangerous place or the energy wasted on feeling afraid. When we lived in Johannesburg I always had to keep my mind set on the safety of the family (never stop for a red light, never drive after dark, not to walk anywhere, not to get off at the wrong exit and end up downtown etc.). Now I never think about these things anymore. It is nice to live in a safe place and good to realize it as well at times.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Learning from others and getting in new ideas!
I just got home from a two day visit in the Netherlands. Together with some colleagues we have been looking at some different municipalities who are all working to supply a better outcome/ service for their inhabitants. It was not only interesting and valuable but we were really impressed by the hospitality and the way they showed us how they work. We saw impressive results but also heard about mistakes and lessons learnt. Even if municipalities in other countries work a bit different than Swedish municipalities we have many similar tasks and it is great to look at what goes on in the public spare around Europe.
We visited the award winning municipality Heusden who has invested a lot in going totally digital making sure all staff can get all information they need at whatever time. They have a front office which is striving to answer 80% of all incoming questions. Inhabitants who call for a building permit should be able to track the permit process, how long things will take and when the permit will be decided on etc. It is transparent, measurable and everyone uses the same system for all tasks. It sounds simple and obvious but looking at our municipality and the number of different systems we use in different departments it is a challenge for us but the only way forward I think. Information should not be connected to a person but cases that we handle should be easy to pick up for anyone. This enables tracking, making sure we do what we are supposed to do, gives us continuity but most importantly ensures that information is shared. If I get sick anyone should be able to go in and continue my work.
In Heusden they also use flexible workspaces where the staff does not have their own office but sign out a laptop in the morning and find a place to sit which is available. This has cut costs but the main gain has been the synergy effect you get when people from different department sit together. To create the feeling that everyone who works at the municipality of Ulricehamn belong to one and the same organization it is important that we get to know each other better, that we increase the knowledge about what different departments are doing and try and find the processes where working together has a positive benefit for the inhabitants. Today we are not there but we are working on it. Creating an open, flexible culture can be difficult but not impossible.
We also visited Amersfoort who has been working with Lean for a few years. They showed us impressive results where they have been able to save a lot of time and decreased stress levels at the same time. They really lived their slogan; working smarter, not faster. We even got to do exercises pointing out how to increase production and reducing stress. It was fun and I think we now have many new ideas on how to create a learning organization giving out inhabitants the best possible service. Sharing knowledge between different countries and cultures gives an extra dimension to learning and this was a great way of experiencing this.
Jochem is off to Brazil for two weeks now and we are planning the last steps of our CISV summer. Sunday Elsa (11) goes to Mölndal to meet up with other CISV friends getting ready for their village camp in Denmark. Next week Ingrid is meeting up with her CISV friends arranging the last step for her Austria trip. I was worried that I would be home alone this summer but now it looks as if I will get some company. Jochem is taking 3 months off, the summerhouse in Nybrostrand is in the middle of a renovation so my parents will come up and stay with us as will oma Nell and in the end of July we get family from the NL.
I dream of a warm summer along the lake Sämsjön with family and friends! Looking forward to see you all!!
We visited the award winning municipality Heusden who has invested a lot in going totally digital making sure all staff can get all information they need at whatever time. They have a front office which is striving to answer 80% of all incoming questions. Inhabitants who call for a building permit should be able to track the permit process, how long things will take and when the permit will be decided on etc. It is transparent, measurable and everyone uses the same system for all tasks. It sounds simple and obvious but looking at our municipality and the number of different systems we use in different departments it is a challenge for us but the only way forward I think. Information should not be connected to a person but cases that we handle should be easy to pick up for anyone. This enables tracking, making sure we do what we are supposed to do, gives us continuity but most importantly ensures that information is shared. If I get sick anyone should be able to go in and continue my work.
In Heusden they also use flexible workspaces where the staff does not have their own office but sign out a laptop in the morning and find a place to sit which is available. This has cut costs but the main gain has been the synergy effect you get when people from different department sit together. To create the feeling that everyone who works at the municipality of Ulricehamn belong to one and the same organization it is important that we get to know each other better, that we increase the knowledge about what different departments are doing and try and find the processes where working together has a positive benefit for the inhabitants. Today we are not there but we are working on it. Creating an open, flexible culture can be difficult but not impossible.
We also visited Amersfoort who has been working with Lean for a few years. They showed us impressive results where they have been able to save a lot of time and decreased stress levels at the same time. They really lived their slogan; working smarter, not faster. We even got to do exercises pointing out how to increase production and reducing stress. It was fun and I think we now have many new ideas on how to create a learning organization giving out inhabitants the best possible service. Sharing knowledge between different countries and cultures gives an extra dimension to learning and this was a great way of experiencing this.
Jochem is off to Brazil for two weeks now and we are planning the last steps of our CISV summer. Sunday Elsa (11) goes to Mölndal to meet up with other CISV friends getting ready for their village camp in Denmark. Next week Ingrid is meeting up with her CISV friends arranging the last step for her Austria trip. I was worried that I would be home alone this summer but now it looks as if I will get some company. Jochem is taking 3 months off, the summerhouse in Nybrostrand is in the middle of a renovation so my parents will come up and stay with us as will oma Nell and in the end of July we get family from the NL.
I dream of a warm summer along the lake Sämsjön with family and friends! Looking forward to see you all!!
Friday, May 20, 2011
A new family settling down in Ulricehamn
This week I spoke to a Dutch family moving to Ulricehamn this summer. Right now it looks as if our immigration project will not continue next year as some municipalities do not see the benefit of it. However, for Ulricehamn it has been positive despite that it actually is too early to look at the direct results. From the point of the idea of emigrating to another country arrives to the actual move researchers say it takes approx. 7 years. So for us, who started this project 3 years ago, it is too early to say how successful or non-successful it has been.
Ulricehamn has seen about 5 families moving here in the last 3-4 years and this summer a family of 5 is settling here. The father got a job in Gothenburg and the family went to Sweden and had a look around Gothenburg and the areas around here and decided to settle in Ulricehamn. I think it says a lot about Ulricehamn when people, who can settle anywhere in the Västra Götaland region, decides to settle here. I am now trying to find them a rental house where they can fit 3 kids, a dog and a cat before the 1st of August. Anyone with a house to rent out in Ulricehamn should let me know! They would like to rent first, just to settle in and find a house to buy a little bit later. One thing that this project has taught me is that personal service is everything. The people I have had a chance to personally meet or whom I have had several telephone conversations with are now very positive about our region. Not everyone moves right away and some people have plans stretching 5 or 10 years but now they know about us and that is good. And, even if they don’t move here they come for holidays here and that is also important.
Last week Jochem’s brother Harry was here with his wife Miriam and oma Nell from the Netherlands. Harry, who is a keen fly fisher, visited Tranemo where they have some bigger trout fishing lakes, for a day of fishing but didn´t catch anything. Luckily he was more successful in Sämsjön in Vegby. We had a great weekend of fishing, bicycling, walking and actually a bit of cleaning too. Now the house is ready to use for the summer and this summer we are planning to use it a lot.
Jochem wondered the other day why we do not seem to get around doing more things around here. We have lived here for 3 years but still have so much left to discover and visit. We live at a place where we could easily go hiking every weekend or get out with the boat but often our weekends are filled with other activities. I guess he is not alone in feeling this way but sometimes I also think we want too much at the same time. In a family of 5 we have 5 ideas about what is fun to do and we are a family interested in very many things. It is football, peacekeeping activities with CISV, singing, watching films, reading books, bicycling, going out with the boat, spending time with family and friends, enjoying food and drinks etc. Actually, the more I think about it the better I like the idea that we still have a lot to explore. If I felt, after 3 years in Ulricehamn, that I had seen everything there is to see here or experienced everything there is to experience I would probably be planning to leave. Now we still have a lot left to explore and that is great to know!
Ulricehamn has seen about 5 families moving here in the last 3-4 years and this summer a family of 5 is settling here. The father got a job in Gothenburg and the family went to Sweden and had a look around Gothenburg and the areas around here and decided to settle in Ulricehamn. I think it says a lot about Ulricehamn when people, who can settle anywhere in the Västra Götaland region, decides to settle here. I am now trying to find them a rental house where they can fit 3 kids, a dog and a cat before the 1st of August. Anyone with a house to rent out in Ulricehamn should let me know! They would like to rent first, just to settle in and find a house to buy a little bit later. One thing that this project has taught me is that personal service is everything. The people I have had a chance to personally meet or whom I have had several telephone conversations with are now very positive about our region. Not everyone moves right away and some people have plans stretching 5 or 10 years but now they know about us and that is good. And, even if they don’t move here they come for holidays here and that is also important.
Last week Jochem’s brother Harry was here with his wife Miriam and oma Nell from the Netherlands. Harry, who is a keen fly fisher, visited Tranemo where they have some bigger trout fishing lakes, for a day of fishing but didn´t catch anything. Luckily he was more successful in Sämsjön in Vegby. We had a great weekend of fishing, bicycling, walking and actually a bit of cleaning too. Now the house is ready to use for the summer and this summer we are planning to use it a lot.
Jochem wondered the other day why we do not seem to get around doing more things around here. We have lived here for 3 years but still have so much left to discover and visit. We live at a place where we could easily go hiking every weekend or get out with the boat but often our weekends are filled with other activities. I guess he is not alone in feeling this way but sometimes I also think we want too much at the same time. In a family of 5 we have 5 ideas about what is fun to do and we are a family interested in very many things. It is football, peacekeeping activities with CISV, singing, watching films, reading books, bicycling, going out with the boat, spending time with family and friends, enjoying food and drinks etc. Actually, the more I think about it the better I like the idea that we still have a lot to explore. If I felt, after 3 years in Ulricehamn, that I had seen everything there is to see here or experienced everything there is to experience I would probably be planning to leave. Now we still have a lot left to explore and that is great to know!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sun all over Ulricehamn
In the last few weeks I have been reading the Kalle Blomkvist books by Astrid Lindgren for Nils (called the Bill Bergson books in English). These books depicts a story taking place in a small sleepy Swedish town during the 50s where the young detective Kalle solves different mysteries together with his friends Eva-Lotta and Anders while simultaneously fighting a friendly knighthood war with some other children.
The stories are just right for Nils and despite taking place 60 years ago without any mobile phones, TV programs and Wii games they speak to our imagination. While walking back from the Ulricehamn spring market yesterday, the town reminded me of Kalle Blomkvist home town. A quiet, peaceful place, gardens full of green trees and flowers, wooden houses in different colors, the sounds of birds and laughing kids but almost no adults out on the street. A typical sleepy town anno 2011, but it could just as well had been 1950. Not a car in sight and only a warm air making us all walk slower, dreaming of a dip in the lake.
In the evening, as the temperature went down a bit, a water fight started between the kids in the neighborhood, filled with energy and excitement, only taking a break for a quick dinner. Trying to get the kids to sit down a little bit extra with their parents to chat was out of the question but the appetite was great. At nine the girls (our girls had some friends staying over) went out to make peace with the boys and brought some chocolates to show their good intentions. I spent some hours reading while Jochem and Nils were watching Scoby Doo and at 10.30 pm I went up to tell the girls it was time to sleep only to find the top floor empty. They were still out and Jochem went out on a search only to find 8 kids at our neighbors place having a great time. I obviously prefer to know were my kids are but I can see the enjoyment these warm weekend evenings brings along and it makes me long for the summer holidays even more. At 8.30 this Sunday morning, Nils woke me up holding up his latest Kalle Blomkvist book and telling me please to continue reading. A small, sleepy town can seem boring but I think we all make a place into something by the way we approach it. Today I think it is just the way we all want it to be. Jochem is off working on the boat, Ingrid is playing in the garden at the neighbors, Nils is making a language game based on Egypt’s history (far too difficult so he need a lot of help) and Elsa is cooking. I sit in the sun with my books when I am not trying to solve some hieroglyphs.
We went from having a long winter to go straight into summer warmth and enjoyed a warm and cosy Easter in Skåne with my family followed by a five day reunion in Ulricehamn with our student friends from Lund in the end of April. 15 years ago I met Jochem while he was an exchange student at Lund University and now we met up with friends from that time. 24 people from Spain, Belgium, the Netherlands and France came to visit with their families and it was great to meet up again. Thank you guys for coming all the way over here and for being who you are!
Next weekend Harry, Miriam and Nell are coming over from the Netherlands. I hope our fantastic sun will shine on you as well. Tonight we are using the barbecue!
With all this sun I think everything is possible!!!
The stories are just right for Nils and despite taking place 60 years ago without any mobile phones, TV programs and Wii games they speak to our imagination. While walking back from the Ulricehamn spring market yesterday, the town reminded me of Kalle Blomkvist home town. A quiet, peaceful place, gardens full of green trees and flowers, wooden houses in different colors, the sounds of birds and laughing kids but almost no adults out on the street. A typical sleepy town anno 2011, but it could just as well had been 1950. Not a car in sight and only a warm air making us all walk slower, dreaming of a dip in the lake.
In the evening, as the temperature went down a bit, a water fight started between the kids in the neighborhood, filled with energy and excitement, only taking a break for a quick dinner. Trying to get the kids to sit down a little bit extra with their parents to chat was out of the question but the appetite was great. At nine the girls (our girls had some friends staying over) went out to make peace with the boys and brought some chocolates to show their good intentions. I spent some hours reading while Jochem and Nils were watching Scoby Doo and at 10.30 pm I went up to tell the girls it was time to sleep only to find the top floor empty. They were still out and Jochem went out on a search only to find 8 kids at our neighbors place having a great time. I obviously prefer to know were my kids are but I can see the enjoyment these warm weekend evenings brings along and it makes me long for the summer holidays even more. At 8.30 this Sunday morning, Nils woke me up holding up his latest Kalle Blomkvist book and telling me please to continue reading. A small, sleepy town can seem boring but I think we all make a place into something by the way we approach it. Today I think it is just the way we all want it to be. Jochem is off working on the boat, Ingrid is playing in the garden at the neighbors, Nils is making a language game based on Egypt’s history (far too difficult so he need a lot of help) and Elsa is cooking. I sit in the sun with my books when I am not trying to solve some hieroglyphs.
We went from having a long winter to go straight into summer warmth and enjoyed a warm and cosy Easter in Skåne with my family followed by a five day reunion in Ulricehamn with our student friends from Lund in the end of April. 15 years ago I met Jochem while he was an exchange student at Lund University and now we met up with friends from that time. 24 people from Spain, Belgium, the Netherlands and France came to visit with their families and it was great to meet up again. Thank you guys for coming all the way over here and for being who you are!
Next weekend Harry, Miriam and Nell are coming over from the Netherlands. I hope our fantastic sun will shine on you as well. Tonight we are using the barbecue!
With all this sun I think everything is possible!!!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Ulricehamn - a learning organization
About a year ago I started working on a proposal for the European Social Funds for the municipality for Ulricehamn. We had just started a process of changing the structure of how things are managed and run here and had done an analysis about the organization in order to look at improvement possibilities. I suggested that we tried to get external funding for the process of changing the organization into a learning organization and wrote a proposal that granted us 650 000 Euros. So, now we are about to start the process of turning the municipality of Ulricehamn into a learning organization and I have gotten a new job as project manager. A fun and great challenge!
A learning organization is the term given to an organization that facilitates the learning of its members and continuously transforms itself. We live in a global world where we constantly have to improve the services we provide and where new tasks are added. To work in a modern organization demands a lot and the idea with this project is to give all staff the tools they need to do the job in the most successful way. 100 managers and 200 staff member will get extra training but the biggest challenge is to spread the new way of working to all members of staff (all 2000). The main benefits of working this way is to assure both innovation and quality while staying competitive and customer orientated. For an outsider I can see that it sounds a bit unclear but I think this can really make a difference in our organization. If your tasks are clear, well defined and you feel that you know what to do or who to turn to with questions, challenges or problems I think you can do a better job. Secondly, if you know how to measure that you are doing the right thing, for the right price with the correct outcome instead of just thinking that you are doing the right thing we are on the right track.
Obviously the municipality has been working with these ideas before but we have not been able to implement it all over in the organization and different quality systems have developed in different parts of the organization. Now, with the support of the European Union, we can take a holistic approach and hopefully improve both the outcome of the organization and the individual engagement in a positive way. The project involves 2000 people and it will not work out if people do not feel committed, encouraged and involved. It is a fantastic challenge and I am fortunate that I have a fab team helping me in the process!
But, life is not only about work and now we are finally seeing a bit of spring here in Ulricehamn. The bicycles are about to be used, the winter jackets are going into storage and Jochem recently started to work on his boats again. Next week the girls’ drama class will show off their spring performance and in the end of April Nils tennis lessons will be moved outside. I don’t know where time is going but it goes fast for sure. In a few weeks we will enjoy Easter break and hope to visit my family and some friends in Skåne and in the end of April 6 foreign families are arriving for the 15 reunion of “the Fire Station exchange students at Lund University 1996”!
Really looking forward seeing you all!
A learning organization is the term given to an organization that facilitates the learning of its members and continuously transforms itself. We live in a global world where we constantly have to improve the services we provide and where new tasks are added. To work in a modern organization demands a lot and the idea with this project is to give all staff the tools they need to do the job in the most successful way. 100 managers and 200 staff member will get extra training but the biggest challenge is to spread the new way of working to all members of staff (all 2000). The main benefits of working this way is to assure both innovation and quality while staying competitive and customer orientated. For an outsider I can see that it sounds a bit unclear but I think this can really make a difference in our organization. If your tasks are clear, well defined and you feel that you know what to do or who to turn to with questions, challenges or problems I think you can do a better job. Secondly, if you know how to measure that you are doing the right thing, for the right price with the correct outcome instead of just thinking that you are doing the right thing we are on the right track.
Obviously the municipality has been working with these ideas before but we have not been able to implement it all over in the organization and different quality systems have developed in different parts of the organization. Now, with the support of the European Union, we can take a holistic approach and hopefully improve both the outcome of the organization and the individual engagement in a positive way. The project involves 2000 people and it will not work out if people do not feel committed, encouraged and involved. It is a fantastic challenge and I am fortunate that I have a fab team helping me in the process!
But, life is not only about work and now we are finally seeing a bit of spring here in Ulricehamn. The bicycles are about to be used, the winter jackets are going into storage and Jochem recently started to work on his boats again. Next week the girls’ drama class will show off their spring performance and in the end of April Nils tennis lessons will be moved outside. I don’t know where time is going but it goes fast for sure. In a few weeks we will enjoy Easter break and hope to visit my family and some friends in Skåne and in the end of April 6 foreign families are arriving for the 15 reunion of “the Fire Station exchange students at Lund University 1996”!
Really looking forward seeing you all!
Friday, March 18, 2011
You will envy me...
I had the idea of writing something about the light that arrives with spring and how different spring light looks in different parts of the world. The sunlight in South Africa is warm, reflected by the red sand and gives all colors a warm glow. The spring light in Sweden is cool, not harsh but definitely not warm. Looking at Scandinavian design and the color scheme we use you see the connection. However, this idea died this morning when I woke up at 6.15 am. to a sound that I recognized but that felt all wrong.
We have had several days of warm spring winds, almost all snow has melted away, the city trucks have been collecting the tons of sand they spread on icy streets all winter and I have started using my spring coats. From my bed I heard something really weird. I heard something that sounded like snow shoveling? And, looking out the window I saw a winter wonderland and asked myself what I have done to deserve this. So, the rest of my family loves winter. Fine, I can admit that a white Christmas is wonderful. Snow is better than grey rain so I have not been missing Welsh or Dutch winters but we got snow already in November and I had already moved on to spring. Jochem is obviously abroad so first I spent half an hour shoveling snow before work this morning and as soon as I got home from work I had to do another hour.
I am not very good at it. My neighbors have slick driveways and on the path passing their houses not a spot of snow. If you want to drive up our driveway you have to watch out for the large pile of snow on the right side and in front of the garage. To me it is still a mystery where people put their snow. I push it to different corners, get tired, sweaty, grumpy and the driveway is full of white “left over’s” (snow that did not stay on the shovel). Maybe it is my southern Swedish genes. I did not grow up with snow so I can’t handle it very well. We never had a lecture at school in how to shovel and I can’t remember doing it as a child. But, it is probably an attitude problem. I feel discontent just thinking about it and know that if I start out shoveling snow with a negative attitude it won’t make the experience any better. So, I try to convince myself that this is good exercise and that my arms will look fab this summer (if we ever get to summer…).
You will all look at my arms and at my J Lo butt this summer and wonder – where did she get that and I will tell you – this is what you get when you live in Ulricehamn!!
Lots of light spring kisses to all off you (now envious) people!
We have had several days of warm spring winds, almost all snow has melted away, the city trucks have been collecting the tons of sand they spread on icy streets all winter and I have started using my spring coats. From my bed I heard something really weird. I heard something that sounded like snow shoveling? And, looking out the window I saw a winter wonderland and asked myself what I have done to deserve this. So, the rest of my family loves winter. Fine, I can admit that a white Christmas is wonderful. Snow is better than grey rain so I have not been missing Welsh or Dutch winters but we got snow already in November and I had already moved on to spring. Jochem is obviously abroad so first I spent half an hour shoveling snow before work this morning and as soon as I got home from work I had to do another hour.
I am not very good at it. My neighbors have slick driveways and on the path passing their houses not a spot of snow. If you want to drive up our driveway you have to watch out for the large pile of snow on the right side and in front of the garage. To me it is still a mystery where people put their snow. I push it to different corners, get tired, sweaty, grumpy and the driveway is full of white “left over’s” (snow that did not stay on the shovel). Maybe it is my southern Swedish genes. I did not grow up with snow so I can’t handle it very well. We never had a lecture at school in how to shovel and I can’t remember doing it as a child. But, it is probably an attitude problem. I feel discontent just thinking about it and know that if I start out shoveling snow with a negative attitude it won’t make the experience any better. So, I try to convince myself that this is good exercise and that my arms will look fab this summer (if we ever get to summer…).
You will all look at my arms and at my J Lo butt this summer and wonder – where did she get that and I will tell you – this is what you get when you live in Ulricehamn!!
Lots of light spring kisses to all off you (now envious) people!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Happy going or not?
We have had several friends from the Netherlands, from the south of Sweden and local friends visiting us in the last few weeks. It is great to have friends visiting from all over, with different cultural backgrounds or different views on life and it gives us input in our daily lives and sometimes it challenges our views. Many guests who come from big cities and busy areas comment on the slow pace, the smallness of things here, the lack of traffic jams and sometimes the lack of things to do (if you are not into sports or nature).
The other night we sat down with some friends, had a glass of wine and somehow the discussion came to focus around what we want with our lives, where we see ourselves in a few years time and what makes us happy. Being 4 adults, two who have suffered a burn out, one recently divorced and one not sure what she wants in life it is safe to say that we did not get to a complete answer. The idea of what makes us happy stayed in my head for a few days and I started thinking about an article I read a while ago that stated that statistically (on a global scale) we are the least happy at the age of 46 (but in Switzerland you hit bottom at 35 already).
If this is true and if there is a U-bend happiness curve (as David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College believes) I will get less happy in the coming years but after 46 life will look brighter. We seem to start out as happy going individuals but due to different aspects of life (wanting to achieve high goals, finding a perfect partner, having kids, fulfilling our individual needs etc.) we get more and more miserable. We statistically hit bottom at 46 but then, somewhere along the way we start getting happier again. According to a writer at the Economist the reason for this could be that we give up the struggle (sounds sad, doesn’t it?) or that we are better suited to deal with trouble as we grow older. We have learnt our life lesson well. What does this actually mean? That we have to fail to feel good again? That we have to throw in the towel and give up if we want to feel happy?
I don´t know but for fun I Goggled happiness and found out some interesting statistics. I you are a happy American you probably live in Hawaii (according to Helathways well-being index, 2011). Actually all American states that score high on happiness are places with a low population or as journalist Carol Bengle Gilbert says; “These states leave the alarming impression that Americans are happiest when they don´t have to deal with another. Are the happiest states the least social?” I crossed checked this comment with The World Map of Happiness which lists the 20 most happy countries in the world and the top 5 countries are the following; Denmark, Switzerland, Austria, Iceland and the Bahamas. Sweden is on 7th place. Well, all the top positions are held by small countries with a relatively small population. And, with this not whatsoever statistical analysis I can see many favorable aspects for my own little hometown. We are few people, spread out on a large area, with a high percentage married people (statistically makes you happier) and we are socially active in many sports clubs (also indicates an increased happiness). Do we actually know how happy we are?
Feeling happy or satisfied with life is obviously a personal feeling difficult to quantify or to measure. How do I compare my happiness to someone else and is it true, as some say, that we bother too much about happiness nowadays and expect too much out of life? More and more countries are focusing on learning more about happiness (through extensive research) as happy people produce better output, keeps a country stable, reduce crime, keeps healthcare costs at a lower level etc. Unhappy people are more often sick, feel more trapped and see fewer possibilities and sometimes you almost get the feeling that we are worse off now than in the past. I doubt that this is true. We live in a time where self-reflection is an everyday commodity and where “help yourself books” keeps our bookshelves filled. We talk about happiness; we reflect about it in books, films, on the net, with our friends etc. but are probably not less happy than 100 years ago. And, considering that we did not live this long 100 years ago the u-bent happiness curve might have looked different. Did you hit bottom at 36 instead of today’s 46? Do we have our mid-life crises later and later in life as we live longer and what defines the difficult moments? And how much of our happiness is defined by the culture we live in as we see different “bottoms” in different countries.
Well, these questions have no simple answers. I like to believe that we create our own happiness as we go along and sometimes it is easier and sometimes more difficult. Maybe because it is almost impossible to define what happiness is and what we have to do to experience it (as it changes over time). So, for me and my friends we kind of got to the conclusion that if the u-bent happiness curve is true we have already been at the bottom and are now heading for a bright future (despite having several years left to 46). I hope you are too!
The other night we sat down with some friends, had a glass of wine and somehow the discussion came to focus around what we want with our lives, where we see ourselves in a few years time and what makes us happy. Being 4 adults, two who have suffered a burn out, one recently divorced and one not sure what she wants in life it is safe to say that we did not get to a complete answer. The idea of what makes us happy stayed in my head for a few days and I started thinking about an article I read a while ago that stated that statistically (on a global scale) we are the least happy at the age of 46 (but in Switzerland you hit bottom at 35 already).
If this is true and if there is a U-bend happiness curve (as David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College believes) I will get less happy in the coming years but after 46 life will look brighter. We seem to start out as happy going individuals but due to different aspects of life (wanting to achieve high goals, finding a perfect partner, having kids, fulfilling our individual needs etc.) we get more and more miserable. We statistically hit bottom at 46 but then, somewhere along the way we start getting happier again. According to a writer at the Economist the reason for this could be that we give up the struggle (sounds sad, doesn’t it?) or that we are better suited to deal with trouble as we grow older. We have learnt our life lesson well. What does this actually mean? That we have to fail to feel good again? That we have to throw in the towel and give up if we want to feel happy?
I don´t know but for fun I Goggled happiness and found out some interesting statistics. I you are a happy American you probably live in Hawaii (according to Helathways well-being index, 2011). Actually all American states that score high on happiness are places with a low population or as journalist Carol Bengle Gilbert says; “These states leave the alarming impression that Americans are happiest when they don´t have to deal with another. Are the happiest states the least social?” I crossed checked this comment with The World Map of Happiness which lists the 20 most happy countries in the world and the top 5 countries are the following; Denmark, Switzerland, Austria, Iceland and the Bahamas. Sweden is on 7th place. Well, all the top positions are held by small countries with a relatively small population. And, with this not whatsoever statistical analysis I can see many favorable aspects for my own little hometown. We are few people, spread out on a large area, with a high percentage married people (statistically makes you happier) and we are socially active in many sports clubs (also indicates an increased happiness). Do we actually know how happy we are?
Feeling happy or satisfied with life is obviously a personal feeling difficult to quantify or to measure. How do I compare my happiness to someone else and is it true, as some say, that we bother too much about happiness nowadays and expect too much out of life? More and more countries are focusing on learning more about happiness (through extensive research) as happy people produce better output, keeps a country stable, reduce crime, keeps healthcare costs at a lower level etc. Unhappy people are more often sick, feel more trapped and see fewer possibilities and sometimes you almost get the feeling that we are worse off now than in the past. I doubt that this is true. We live in a time where self-reflection is an everyday commodity and where “help yourself books” keeps our bookshelves filled. We talk about happiness; we reflect about it in books, films, on the net, with our friends etc. but are probably not less happy than 100 years ago. And, considering that we did not live this long 100 years ago the u-bent happiness curve might have looked different. Did you hit bottom at 36 instead of today’s 46? Do we have our mid-life crises later and later in life as we live longer and what defines the difficult moments? And how much of our happiness is defined by the culture we live in as we see different “bottoms” in different countries.
Well, these questions have no simple answers. I like to believe that we create our own happiness as we go along and sometimes it is easier and sometimes more difficult. Maybe because it is almost impossible to define what happiness is and what we have to do to experience it (as it changes over time). So, for me and my friends we kind of got to the conclusion that if the u-bent happiness curve is true we have already been at the bottom and are now heading for a bright future (despite having several years left to 46). I hope you are too!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
85 is not enough! Where is the committment?
I got a mail from Brazil. Fabio, who is interested in immigrating to Sweden and who has been in contact with me before, has gotten a job offer in Karlsborg as a dentist. This is great for him and I am looking forward hearing how things work out for him and his family. I know that we desperately need doctors and dentist also in our region but somehow the recruitment here takes a longer time. With all the discussions in media regarding the difficulties of finding qualified people I wonder why we don’t see more international recruitment going on and why businesses do not look across the border in a larger extent. I guess many businesses do not see the job market as truly global but I think they would be surprised at what qualifications they could actually attract from abroad if they looked into the possibilities out there.
Our neighbor is in need of a programmer with specific skills and to help out Jochem has put an ad on a Dutch webpage aimed at people who wants to emigrate from the Netherlands. At this site employers from all over the world can advertise free of charge for skilled workers. I have no idea if this ad will lead to a successful recruitment and increase the population in Ulricehamn but it will be nice to see what happens. The municipality is currently involve in an emigration project together with 7 other municipalities and the project which is now at its 3rd year has been improving each year (higher educated people address us, less dreamers, people are devoted and studding Swedish etc.) However, I think we could bring it to another level and match the needs of our local businesses even better with the skilled individuals wanting to move here. I want to expand the project, involve more partners, more countries and get EU grants to help us in the process. However, at the moment I get positive feedback on the idea but no resources to put it into action so it keeps on being an idea! In short I think it has to do with ownership. Who is responsible for businesses finding skilled workers and for the growth (in human capital and in financial capital) of our region? All of us together (businesses, politicians, civil servants and inhabitants) but the task itself has no true owner.
The municipality of Ulricehamn grew with 85 inhabitants in 2010. That is not enough if we should reach the goal of 25 000 inhabitants in 2020. We need to get organized if we want to reach this goal and we need to set up targets and discuss ownership. Naturally it is easy to see that the municipality should be responsible for the master plan but it is also vital that we all feel committed to increase the inhabitants of this town and to see this place flourish and grow. Maybe Fabio from Brazil will find his way to Ulricehamn and a job as a dentist in our region or maybe we will see a Dutch programmer living out his dream in Gällstad one day.
And meanwhile I enjoy the days that slowly becomes longer and lighter, giving us the promises of a spring to come. Tomorrow Jenny, Jörgen and their 3 kids arrive to try out the skiing possibilities here and we look forward having them over!
Our neighbor is in need of a programmer with specific skills and to help out Jochem has put an ad on a Dutch webpage aimed at people who wants to emigrate from the Netherlands. At this site employers from all over the world can advertise free of charge for skilled workers. I have no idea if this ad will lead to a successful recruitment and increase the population in Ulricehamn but it will be nice to see what happens. The municipality is currently involve in an emigration project together with 7 other municipalities and the project which is now at its 3rd year has been improving each year (higher educated people address us, less dreamers, people are devoted and studding Swedish etc.) However, I think we could bring it to another level and match the needs of our local businesses even better with the skilled individuals wanting to move here. I want to expand the project, involve more partners, more countries and get EU grants to help us in the process. However, at the moment I get positive feedback on the idea but no resources to put it into action so it keeps on being an idea! In short I think it has to do with ownership. Who is responsible for businesses finding skilled workers and for the growth (in human capital and in financial capital) of our region? All of us together (businesses, politicians, civil servants and inhabitants) but the task itself has no true owner.
The municipality of Ulricehamn grew with 85 inhabitants in 2010. That is not enough if we should reach the goal of 25 000 inhabitants in 2020. We need to get organized if we want to reach this goal and we need to set up targets and discuss ownership. Naturally it is easy to see that the municipality should be responsible for the master plan but it is also vital that we all feel committed to increase the inhabitants of this town and to see this place flourish and grow. Maybe Fabio from Brazil will find his way to Ulricehamn and a job as a dentist in our region or maybe we will see a Dutch programmer living out his dream in Gällstad one day.
And meanwhile I enjoy the days that slowly becomes longer and lighter, giving us the promises of a spring to come. Tomorrow Jenny, Jörgen and their 3 kids arrive to try out the skiing possibilities here and we look forward having them over!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Friendships to last a lifetime
Sometimes something small can get so big when you realize what it actually means! A letter arrived!
We got invited to the 40th birthday party of a friend here in Ulricehamn. I love parties and I love birthdays and especially when the birthday girl is someone special. The invitation showed a lifetime of pictures – cute, fun and crazy pictures – which all sent a message of the personality turning 40 in April. I immediately started writing down words that would serve as brainstorming material for a birthday greeting and while doing this I realized that I only know her since 3 years. We met at work here in Ulricehamn and today I see her as one of my dearest friends. Our three years here has gone fast but also deep! And, despite not knowing each other for very long I am sure that if we had met at 16 we would have clicked. At least we had the same terrible hairstyle! Wonder when my kids will come home and tell me that they desperately need a perm!
At the emigration fair last weekend someone asked me how long it took for us when we moved to Ulricehamn to get into the social life. They had heard that Swedish people could be difficult to get to know. I can’t answer for all Swedes but I can say that we have been very fortunate in Ulricehamn and that we’ve met people here that will stay in our hearts forever!
So get ready for your big day Katrin and cheers to another 40 years coming on!
We got invited to the 40th birthday party of a friend here in Ulricehamn. I love parties and I love birthdays and especially when the birthday girl is someone special. The invitation showed a lifetime of pictures – cute, fun and crazy pictures – which all sent a message of the personality turning 40 in April. I immediately started writing down words that would serve as brainstorming material for a birthday greeting and while doing this I realized that I only know her since 3 years. We met at work here in Ulricehamn and today I see her as one of my dearest friends. Our three years here has gone fast but also deep! And, despite not knowing each other for very long I am sure that if we had met at 16 we would have clicked. At least we had the same terrible hairstyle! Wonder when my kids will come home and tell me that they desperately need a perm!
At the emigration fair last weekend someone asked me how long it took for us when we moved to Ulricehamn to get into the social life. They had heard that Swedish people could be difficult to get to know. I can’t answer for all Swedes but I can say that we have been very fortunate in Ulricehamn and that we’ve met people here that will stay in our hearts forever!
So get ready for your big day Katrin and cheers to another 40 years coming on!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Dutch emigration - one way to increase our possibilities!
I drove Jochem to the airport on Tuesday morning and we decided that it is time for a date soon. In the last 4 weeks I have been on 13 different flights, travelled from Spain in the south to Härnösand in the north and been to Jacques funeral in the Netherlands in between. Jochem also had to travel and my parents came over to help out. It is great to have parents who help out despite having to travel in snowy weather to get here, who cook for us and who spoil us all! Now I am planning to stay put in Ulricehamn for a while and enjoy the snow, the family and you visitors coming to enjoy the winter in the coming weeks.
The last 5 days I spent in the Netherlands taking part in a Dutch emigration fair. 305 Dutch people choose to leave the NL each day and the interest for moving to Scandinavia is great. For many Swedish people it is odd to think of emigration if you have a job, a house and a social setting you feel comfortable in. However, the reason that so many people look at the possibilities at living in another country has to do with the size of the country and its population. The NL is 14 times smaller than Sweden with a population of 16 million people. It is crowded, enormous traffic jams, high property prices, higher crime rate than here and almost no more nature. In Sweden, which is one of the largest countries in Europe and with a small population of 9 million, we have a lot of nature and many Swedish people prefer to move to bigger cities. Of the 290 municipalities we have in Sweden, 250 are losing their inhabitants.
You could say that if people do not want to live on the countryside – why care? Why do we want to attract more inhabitants to the Swedish countryside and why should we aim for the Dutch? Well, first of all Swedish municipalities have taxation right and each municipality is an economy of its own. With a decreasing population, less money enters the municipality and the harder it is to maintain a high social standard and offer good schools, good elderly care, run swimming pools, libraries etc. Due to this most municipalities wants to grow and attract new inhabitants. Secondly, when people leave the countryside and move to the bigger cities it gets harder for remaining businesses to find suitable staff, to grow and develop their business. Of all European countries the Netherlands is the most successful country when it comes to starting new businesses and the country is famous for its entrepreneurial skills. Therefore, attracting Dutch families looking for work or to start their own businesses in Sweden is something worth looking into. About 10 000 people attended the emigration fair in Houten this weekend – all interested in a new life outside the Netherlands. At the same time the Swedish labour organisation (AMS) is expecting 65 000 new jobs to emerge in 2011 and in the coming 15 years 1,6 million Swedish people will retire leaving a huge shortage within certain sectors.
In other words – we need the Dutch or any other high skilled worker willing to test life on the Swedish country side and I hope we can get some of the doctors, veterinaries, IT people, teachers etc. we met at the fair this weekend to have a look at life in West Sweden.
And now I will prepare tonight’s salmon dish, enjoy Elsas fruit pie and a read a long, good book for the kids before I tuck them in. Not to forget to arrange for Fridays date with Jochem!
The last 5 days I spent in the Netherlands taking part in a Dutch emigration fair. 305 Dutch people choose to leave the NL each day and the interest for moving to Scandinavia is great. For many Swedish people it is odd to think of emigration if you have a job, a house and a social setting you feel comfortable in. However, the reason that so many people look at the possibilities at living in another country has to do with the size of the country and its population. The NL is 14 times smaller than Sweden with a population of 16 million people. It is crowded, enormous traffic jams, high property prices, higher crime rate than here and almost no more nature. In Sweden, which is one of the largest countries in Europe and with a small population of 9 million, we have a lot of nature and many Swedish people prefer to move to bigger cities. Of the 290 municipalities we have in Sweden, 250 are losing their inhabitants.
You could say that if people do not want to live on the countryside – why care? Why do we want to attract more inhabitants to the Swedish countryside and why should we aim for the Dutch? Well, first of all Swedish municipalities have taxation right and each municipality is an economy of its own. With a decreasing population, less money enters the municipality and the harder it is to maintain a high social standard and offer good schools, good elderly care, run swimming pools, libraries etc. Due to this most municipalities wants to grow and attract new inhabitants. Secondly, when people leave the countryside and move to the bigger cities it gets harder for remaining businesses to find suitable staff, to grow and develop their business. Of all European countries the Netherlands is the most successful country when it comes to starting new businesses and the country is famous for its entrepreneurial skills. Therefore, attracting Dutch families looking for work or to start their own businesses in Sweden is something worth looking into. About 10 000 people attended the emigration fair in Houten this weekend – all interested in a new life outside the Netherlands. At the same time the Swedish labour organisation (AMS) is expecting 65 000 new jobs to emerge in 2011 and in the coming 15 years 1,6 million Swedish people will retire leaving a huge shortage within certain sectors.
In other words – we need the Dutch or any other high skilled worker willing to test life on the Swedish country side and I hope we can get some of the doctors, veterinaries, IT people, teachers etc. we met at the fair this weekend to have a look at life in West Sweden.
And now I will prepare tonight’s salmon dish, enjoy Elsas fruit pie and a read a long, good book for the kids before I tuck them in. Not to forget to arrange for Fridays date with Jochem!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Religious talks at the breakfast table
I had breakfast with the children this morning and it was a morning talking about granpa Jacuqes who passed away on Saturday night. The girls had lots to say and many thoughts but Nils sat quiet eating his Cherrios. And then, when we were just about finished he leaned over and said:
- Mum, now I want you to tell me what happens after.
- After what I asked.
- After death. What happens after death?
- Oh … I think grandpa believed in heaven. I think he went to heaven. No one knows what happens after death but I like to believe that we go where we want to go. Or where we were destined to go if we go anywhere. I don’t have a complete answer for you but I think you have to find your answer from many places or maybe from within.
Ingrid, who had been sitting opposite us at the breakfast table entered the discussion.
- What do you believe and what does dad think? Why do some people fight about being Protestant or Catholics while you two live happily together?
I wanted to ask her what she knew about Catholics and Protestants and where she had heard about the difficulties that has surrounded these groups for centuries but this was not the moment. We talk little about religion in our family as I think both Jochem and I have had trouble in finding faith in our own systems. Maybe we have created our own personal view on life, death and what brings sense to our lives and suddenly I remembered something Jochem said to Elsa a few years ago.
Elsa, then 5 or 6 came home and said with an angry voice to us.
- I am not baptised and I am the most religious in this family. You two are baptised and you do not believe fully.
Jochem answered her by saying that he sees himself more as a humanist and has always found it difficult to feel truly Catholic but if she was interested in learning more about the Catholic faith he would help her find out more. He then asked her if she knew what the ideas around humanism are and Elsa responded.
- It is something like you. Something about humour!
And then she smiled as if thinking that it was quite suitable for her dad to be a crazy humanist.
Maybe we all have our own ideas about faith, religion and life after death. Nils was not satisfied with my answer and also told me so. I guess a 7 year old needs to get the pieces fit the puzzle but I think Ingrid and Elsa could accept my answer. Together we could all agree that if there is a heaven, Granpa Jacques is there right now.
Tonight my parents arrived from Lund and as we talked about the funeral, which will take place in the Netherlands on Friday, they asked what could be a suitable way to show affection to Nell and to the family. Should they get flowers or put money in a foundation supporting something special? I have no idea. I have never been to a Catholic funeral before and I have never been to a funeral in the Netherlands. In Sweden we sometimes have funerals several weeks after the passing and in the Netherlands it is within 6 days. It occurred to me that even after 13 years together, Jochem and I still learn from each other, discover more about each other’s cultures, religions and families and I feel grateful to be a part of that.
And while on the Internet I found a saying, which I feel, would suit the man who calls himself a little bit a Catholic, a little bit a humanist and a little bit crazy. So here is a quote for Jochem;
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
~Erma Bombeck
- Mum, now I want you to tell me what happens after.
- After what I asked.
- After death. What happens after death?
- Oh … I think grandpa believed in heaven. I think he went to heaven. No one knows what happens after death but I like to believe that we go where we want to go. Or where we were destined to go if we go anywhere. I don’t have a complete answer for you but I think you have to find your answer from many places or maybe from within.
Ingrid, who had been sitting opposite us at the breakfast table entered the discussion.
- What do you believe and what does dad think? Why do some people fight about being Protestant or Catholics while you two live happily together?
I wanted to ask her what she knew about Catholics and Protestants and where she had heard about the difficulties that has surrounded these groups for centuries but this was not the moment. We talk little about religion in our family as I think both Jochem and I have had trouble in finding faith in our own systems. Maybe we have created our own personal view on life, death and what brings sense to our lives and suddenly I remembered something Jochem said to Elsa a few years ago.
Elsa, then 5 or 6 came home and said with an angry voice to us.
- I am not baptised and I am the most religious in this family. You two are baptised and you do not believe fully.
Jochem answered her by saying that he sees himself more as a humanist and has always found it difficult to feel truly Catholic but if she was interested in learning more about the Catholic faith he would help her find out more. He then asked her if she knew what the ideas around humanism are and Elsa responded.
- It is something like you. Something about humour!
And then she smiled as if thinking that it was quite suitable for her dad to be a crazy humanist.
Maybe we all have our own ideas about faith, religion and life after death. Nils was not satisfied with my answer and also told me so. I guess a 7 year old needs to get the pieces fit the puzzle but I think Ingrid and Elsa could accept my answer. Together we could all agree that if there is a heaven, Granpa Jacques is there right now.
Tonight my parents arrived from Lund and as we talked about the funeral, which will take place in the Netherlands on Friday, they asked what could be a suitable way to show affection to Nell and to the family. Should they get flowers or put money in a foundation supporting something special? I have no idea. I have never been to a Catholic funeral before and I have never been to a funeral in the Netherlands. In Sweden we sometimes have funerals several weeks after the passing and in the Netherlands it is within 6 days. It occurred to me that even after 13 years together, Jochem and I still learn from each other, discover more about each other’s cultures, religions and families and I feel grateful to be a part of that.
And while on the Internet I found a saying, which I feel, would suit the man who calls himself a little bit a Catholic, a little bit a humanist and a little bit crazy. So here is a quote for Jochem;
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
~Erma Bombeck
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The last sacrament of Jacques Geeraedts
Jochem called me yesterday as I sat waiting for a flight in Oviedo, Spain to bring me back home to Sweden. The family in the Netherlands had called and Jochems dad was not doing well. It was time for the last sacrament and time to take farewell.
It is never easy to say farewell and especially when it is someone close to you, someone who has had a serious role in shaping the person you have become, the person you are. I think it goes against everything we are used to, to see our parent’s mortality. They have always been there and they were here first.
- He has had a good life, Jochem said to me, as if trying to convince his heart it was not as bad as if felt.
I sat at the airport trying to make my picture of Jacques whom I met the first time in 1997 and I think Jochem is right. Jacques has had a good life. Not an easy life but a life well lived with a partner next to him who made hard times easier. I had a book with me at the airport, which seamed to fit the moment and the mindset I was in. Let me sing you gentle songs by Linda Olsson tells a story about life, death and the choices we have to make to be able to take in love. My Jacques is a gentle, humble man of few words with a great love for teaching and sport – a man who was not afraid of love. I only met that Jacques the first few years in the late 90s and more occasionally in the years to come. In 1999 he got lost while visiting us in Nijmegen and the year after he took Ingrid, then 1, for a walk and disappeared. Several hours later, with the help of the police and an observant person they were found. Jochem went to pick them up and Jacques, filled with shame said:
- all the houses and all the streets looked the same and I had no address.
Jochem responded by telling him how they had written a note with the address and put in the wallet. Jacques had a look in his wallet and found the note. He cried.
Alzheimer is a terrible decease and it affects everyone. Jacques had it but both Nell and Jacques suffered from it, just as the rest of the family. For some years the progression was quite slow but a year or two ago Jochem realized that Jacques did not recognize him anymore. There were moments that were clearer, when memories and people would find a way into Jacques mind but they became more and more rare. Two weeks ago Jacques moved into a special home. It was a big and difficult step for Nell but a step they had to take. They have spent more than 55 years together, shared numerous moments together and climbed both mountains and travelled deep valleys.
The last sacrament is a rite in which God is uniquely active according to Catholics. As a protestant I have little knowledge of this rite but know it is important to Nell and Jacques. Yesterday a priest arrived to sprinkle holy water and say a prayer. I have learned that the last sacrament means that the priest will lay his hands on the person. The use of the priest's hands is a sign the Holy Spirit is being called down to support the dying person. The forehead and hands of the person are anointed with an oil which means that the dying person is given peace in their last moments and sins are forgiven. I like to believe that this is a special moment for both Jacques and Nell, a moment which will strengthen them on the journey to come. If you have shared 55 years together it is not easy to part.
I arrived home from Spain at midnight and Jochem left for the Netherlands at 5 am this morning. We talked about Jacques and we talked about what he has passed on to Jochem and to me.
- My dad took me to the gym hall at the school where he taught PE every Saturday when I was a kid, Jochem said. We would do gymnastic, play football, climb and practice all kinds of sports. He was there, he made me feel great, he had time and if I as a father to my kids can make them feel the same way I will have succeeded.
Every person leaves something behind, something worth keeping. We have had lots of gifts from Jacques.
Jacques Geeraedts 1926 07 18-2011 01 29
It is never easy to say farewell and especially when it is someone close to you, someone who has had a serious role in shaping the person you have become, the person you are. I think it goes against everything we are used to, to see our parent’s mortality. They have always been there and they were here first.
- He has had a good life, Jochem said to me, as if trying to convince his heart it was not as bad as if felt.
I sat at the airport trying to make my picture of Jacques whom I met the first time in 1997 and I think Jochem is right. Jacques has had a good life. Not an easy life but a life well lived with a partner next to him who made hard times easier. I had a book with me at the airport, which seamed to fit the moment and the mindset I was in. Let me sing you gentle songs by Linda Olsson tells a story about life, death and the choices we have to make to be able to take in love. My Jacques is a gentle, humble man of few words with a great love for teaching and sport – a man who was not afraid of love. I only met that Jacques the first few years in the late 90s and more occasionally in the years to come. In 1999 he got lost while visiting us in Nijmegen and the year after he took Ingrid, then 1, for a walk and disappeared. Several hours later, with the help of the police and an observant person they were found. Jochem went to pick them up and Jacques, filled with shame said:
- all the houses and all the streets looked the same and I had no address.
Jochem responded by telling him how they had written a note with the address and put in the wallet. Jacques had a look in his wallet and found the note. He cried.
Alzheimer is a terrible decease and it affects everyone. Jacques had it but both Nell and Jacques suffered from it, just as the rest of the family. For some years the progression was quite slow but a year or two ago Jochem realized that Jacques did not recognize him anymore. There were moments that were clearer, when memories and people would find a way into Jacques mind but they became more and more rare. Two weeks ago Jacques moved into a special home. It was a big and difficult step for Nell but a step they had to take. They have spent more than 55 years together, shared numerous moments together and climbed both mountains and travelled deep valleys.
The last sacrament is a rite in which God is uniquely active according to Catholics. As a protestant I have little knowledge of this rite but know it is important to Nell and Jacques. Yesterday a priest arrived to sprinkle holy water and say a prayer. I have learned that the last sacrament means that the priest will lay his hands on the person. The use of the priest's hands is a sign the Holy Spirit is being called down to support the dying person. The forehead and hands of the person are anointed with an oil which means that the dying person is given peace in their last moments and sins are forgiven. I like to believe that this is a special moment for both Jacques and Nell, a moment which will strengthen them on the journey to come. If you have shared 55 years together it is not easy to part.
I arrived home from Spain at midnight and Jochem left for the Netherlands at 5 am this morning. We talked about Jacques and we talked about what he has passed on to Jochem and to me.
- My dad took me to the gym hall at the school where he taught PE every Saturday when I was a kid, Jochem said. We would do gymnastic, play football, climb and practice all kinds of sports. He was there, he made me feel great, he had time and if I as a father to my kids can make them feel the same way I will have succeeded.
Every person leaves something behind, something worth keeping. We have had lots of gifts from Jacques.
Jacques Geeraedts 1926 07 18-2011 01 29
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I would do it all over again!
The new year has started with yet more snow and yesterday we discovered that our snow shovel had been stolen (yes, even in small towns things disappear!). Due to the enormous amounts of snow in the last months it is almost impossible to buy a new one. Suddenly it is not only the price of gold and lithium that is raising but how much do we have to pay for a second hand snow shovel in Ulricehamn today? Actually, you cannot even find anyone selling a snow shovel in Ulricehamn right now. Luckily we´ve got great neighbours who lent us theirs. Sometimes I wonder if we will ever get to spring again but so far we are all enjoying the snow and the skiing possibilities we have here. Nils (7) has started to snowboard and the girls spend days skiing and snowboarding (they are still off school).
In March we have lived 3 years in Ulricehamn and I am still stunned and grateful for the beautiful surroundings we live in. 10 minutes outside town we have the downhill ski area and a 10 minute walk from home we can go cross country skiing. I walk to work (as part of our assignment to become a climate smart family) and Ulricehamn greets me every morning with beautiful old buildings, an ice covered lake and slippery hills. I am not sure I would have noticed the beauty of the place had I not lived in so many other places before. I have seen fantastic places around the world but here we have it in our everyday life and accessible for everyone. I think Ulricehamn should use this advantage even more in order to attract both companies, new inhabitants and tourists from close by and far away. (Currently working on it)
In February I will attend the Emigratie Beurs outside Utrecht again and I keep on meeting more and more Europeans who have chosen to move to Ulricehamn. I always ask them the same questions and their answer is often very similar to my own. I ask them why! Why Ulricehamn.
We moved from the Netherlands to Sweden in order to get another pace in our lives, to be able to enjoy life more without traffic jams and stressed people, to improve our living standard and to get a new challenge in life. At the kids school they have classmates from Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, Croatia, Spain, Norway, Irak, China and Sweden of course. I like to think that the international atmosphere at school balances small town life and give the kids a feel for both worlds at once.
I turned 39 the other day and this weekend I will have a women-only dinner with friends from Ulricehamn and friends from Lund. Jenny and I met 21 years ago while some of my guests are newfound friends – they all give my life an extra dimension, makes me feel included and enhance the feeling that life is what you make of it!
Can’t wait to see them all on Saturday!!
In March we have lived 3 years in Ulricehamn and I am still stunned and grateful for the beautiful surroundings we live in. 10 minutes outside town we have the downhill ski area and a 10 minute walk from home we can go cross country skiing. I walk to work (as part of our assignment to become a climate smart family) and Ulricehamn greets me every morning with beautiful old buildings, an ice covered lake and slippery hills. I am not sure I would have noticed the beauty of the place had I not lived in so many other places before. I have seen fantastic places around the world but here we have it in our everyday life and accessible for everyone. I think Ulricehamn should use this advantage even more in order to attract both companies, new inhabitants and tourists from close by and far away. (Currently working on it)
In February I will attend the Emigratie Beurs outside Utrecht again and I keep on meeting more and more Europeans who have chosen to move to Ulricehamn. I always ask them the same questions and their answer is often very similar to my own. I ask them why! Why Ulricehamn.
We moved from the Netherlands to Sweden in order to get another pace in our lives, to be able to enjoy life more without traffic jams and stressed people, to improve our living standard and to get a new challenge in life. At the kids school they have classmates from Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, Croatia, Spain, Norway, Irak, China and Sweden of course. I like to think that the international atmosphere at school balances small town life and give the kids a feel for both worlds at once.
I turned 39 the other day and this weekend I will have a women-only dinner with friends from Ulricehamn and friends from Lund. Jenny and I met 21 years ago while some of my guests are newfound friends – they all give my life an extra dimension, makes me feel included and enhance the feeling that life is what you make of it!
Can’t wait to see them all on Saturday!!
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