Friends of mine had their first child this weekend. What should have been a moment of exited happiness turned out to be a nightmare. The mother got Heelp syndrome and almost lost her life and their baby suffered from shortage of oxygen. Now they are stable but still in intensive care and the future of the baby unknown.
Why is life so unfair and what can you do to help? When something like this happens I cant help looking at my own kids and being thankful for their health and possibilities to grow.
Every day is a chance to enjoy life and the people we fill our lives with!
Lots of love to you all!!
May 2013
in Ulricehamn
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Living with two hearts
Five days in not enough. Not if you want to visit friends, family and take part in a conference. I’ve spent the past five in the Netherlands being back for the first time in 9 months. It was great and much too short. I’m sorry I missed so many of you and I promise I’ll be back shortly!
It is strange how you can feel about a country and its inhabitants. Sitting on a train between Eindhoven and the Hague I thought to myself, this country is overcrowded, full of cars and in the early morning full of stress but still it feels like home. This multicultural country, full of colour and creativity has an energy about it which spreads to people willing to take it in. It is somewhat chaotic and sometimes a bit weird. I cannot explain what makes the Dutch so unique and at times I get annoyed, surprised or challenged but never ever bored!
Creativity and innovation often rises from unexpected situations where people meet and exchange ideas and knowledge. The Netherlands has the largest amount of small businesses in Europe and you can almost feel the entrepreneurship atmosphere. At the same time they have almost the highest amount of part time working women in Europe and there are lots if discussions in regard to the lack of ambition of Dutch women. They do well at school, they are better educated then the men and still they do not reach the higher positions on the labour market.
This was the core challenge discussed at the emancipation conference I visited while in the NL. Naturally one can point out a few things that could increase the possibilities for women in the NL such as better and available childcare, stronger financial incentives to work more etc. but there is a clear difference between Sweden and the NL in how we look at combining work and family life. One of the speakers at the conference was Gertrud Åström – a guru on gender mainstreaming and an inspiration to listen to. With a clear message, backed up with statistics she brings about a message full of wit. She showed that from 1970 to 2007 the amount of women who chose not to have any children at all has stayed on 14 % in Sweden. Women in Sweden, who almost all work fulltime do not feel that there is a need to chose between a career and having a family. Actually the opposite has happened. Women are financially independent in Sweden, (which only 38 % are in the NL) they work full time and they have more children then the average European. There is a correlation between financial independence and having more children, which I find really interesting! If we want to do something with the birth rates in Europe we need to use the capacity of women and have a law system, which gives women their financial independence. This is not the case in many countries such as in the NL where a couple is taxed as one unit. As long as women do not have control over their own income and their own pension we will stay unequal!
My trip to the NL also included seeing some good friends and enjoying the Dutch hospitality! We hope to see you here soon! It was a dual feeling returning back to Ulricehamn and Sweden but the beautiful layer of snow and the kids enjoyment of it made returning a bit easier. I live in a beautiful place that offers a lot and luckily the Netherlands is not very far away. It is time for the kids to go to bed and I will get my head out the door and shout to them that its time to come in. They can spend hours in the snow!!!
It is strange how you can feel about a country and its inhabitants. Sitting on a train between Eindhoven and the Hague I thought to myself, this country is overcrowded, full of cars and in the early morning full of stress but still it feels like home. This multicultural country, full of colour and creativity has an energy about it which spreads to people willing to take it in. It is somewhat chaotic and sometimes a bit weird. I cannot explain what makes the Dutch so unique and at times I get annoyed, surprised or challenged but never ever bored!
Creativity and innovation often rises from unexpected situations where people meet and exchange ideas and knowledge. The Netherlands has the largest amount of small businesses in Europe and you can almost feel the entrepreneurship atmosphere. At the same time they have almost the highest amount of part time working women in Europe and there are lots if discussions in regard to the lack of ambition of Dutch women. They do well at school, they are better educated then the men and still they do not reach the higher positions on the labour market.
This was the core challenge discussed at the emancipation conference I visited while in the NL. Naturally one can point out a few things that could increase the possibilities for women in the NL such as better and available childcare, stronger financial incentives to work more etc. but there is a clear difference between Sweden and the NL in how we look at combining work and family life. One of the speakers at the conference was Gertrud Åström – a guru on gender mainstreaming and an inspiration to listen to. With a clear message, backed up with statistics she brings about a message full of wit. She showed that from 1970 to 2007 the amount of women who chose not to have any children at all has stayed on 14 % in Sweden. Women in Sweden, who almost all work fulltime do not feel that there is a need to chose between a career and having a family. Actually the opposite has happened. Women are financially independent in Sweden, (which only 38 % are in the NL) they work full time and they have more children then the average European. There is a correlation between financial independence and having more children, which I find really interesting! If we want to do something with the birth rates in Europe we need to use the capacity of women and have a law system, which gives women their financial independence. This is not the case in many countries such as in the NL where a couple is taxed as one unit. As long as women do not have control over their own income and their own pension we will stay unequal!
My trip to the NL also included seeing some good friends and enjoying the Dutch hospitality! We hope to see you here soon! It was a dual feeling returning back to Ulricehamn and Sweden but the beautiful layer of snow and the kids enjoyment of it made returning a bit easier. I live in a beautiful place that offers a lot and luckily the Netherlands is not very far away. It is time for the kids to go to bed and I will get my head out the door and shout to them that its time to come in. They can spend hours in the snow!!!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A visit to Latvia!
Can a country be united through music? According to many Latvians the nations strong choir movement has been a factor in consolidating the nation. I have spent the last three days visiting Latvia and the Dobele district as Ulricehamn has a town twinning agreement with Dobele. It was an interesting visit, which made me think of the importance of culture and music for a nation and its people. Latvia regained independence from the Soviet Union in 1991 but the last three days they have been celebrating the 90th anniversary of their prior independence
On the second day of our visit we took part in a music event with participants from Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and Poland. All the performances were really good but what made the strongest impression was the last song. When the small choir started singing everyone in the hall joined in and all in different tunes. It was beautiful! My counterpart in Dobele told me that Latvians consider it an honour to sing in a choir. The foundation is laid at school, since music is on the curriculum from the first year and every village and larger enterprise has a choir of their own. She felt that choir singing has had (and still has) an important unifying element in a country with a complex history.
I went to Dobele with two colleagues, and we were all well looked after by our Latvian hosts. The only downside (except that we missed the flight back and that I lost my luggage) was the amount of vodka drunk by other guests the first night. I have been to parties in Eastern Europe before but this was really extreme and made it obvious why the life expectancy within Europe is very different. I don’t mind if people want to enjoy a glass of wine or a glass of vodka but when one guest alone drinks a bottle of vodka on his own during a 4 hour dinner and then loses all sense of dignity it is not only sad. It is embarrassing, annoying and being one of very few women in the group made the situation quite uncomfortable. Luckily the other two days were more or less alcohol free and the program and the discussions with our twinning partners well worth the trip!
I got stranded at Copenhagen airport and lost my luggage but got to spend two hours shopping and now have a new lingerie wardrobe and a very nice expensive dress so please invite me for a big party!!! Tomorrow I am off to the Netherlands!!! It will be great and I am really looking forward to see many of you! Five days is obviously not long enough but I will be back for a short weekend just before Christmas! We still have no snow in Ulricehamn but I have my fingers crossed for December!
Big hugs to all of you!
On the second day of our visit we took part in a music event with participants from Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and Poland. All the performances were really good but what made the strongest impression was the last song. When the small choir started singing everyone in the hall joined in and all in different tunes. It was beautiful! My counterpart in Dobele told me that Latvians consider it an honour to sing in a choir. The foundation is laid at school, since music is on the curriculum from the first year and every village and larger enterprise has a choir of their own. She felt that choir singing has had (and still has) an important unifying element in a country with a complex history.
I went to Dobele with two colleagues, and we were all well looked after by our Latvian hosts. The only downside (except that we missed the flight back and that I lost my luggage) was the amount of vodka drunk by other guests the first night. I have been to parties in Eastern Europe before but this was really extreme and made it obvious why the life expectancy within Europe is very different. I don’t mind if people want to enjoy a glass of wine or a glass of vodka but when one guest alone drinks a bottle of vodka on his own during a 4 hour dinner and then loses all sense of dignity it is not only sad. It is embarrassing, annoying and being one of very few women in the group made the situation quite uncomfortable. Luckily the other two days were more or less alcohol free and the program and the discussions with our twinning partners well worth the trip!
I got stranded at Copenhagen airport and lost my luggage but got to spend two hours shopping and now have a new lingerie wardrobe and a very nice expensive dress so please invite me for a big party!!! Tomorrow I am off to the Netherlands!!! It will be great and I am really looking forward to see many of you! Five days is obviously not long enough but I will be back for a short weekend just before Christmas! We still have no snow in Ulricehamn but I have my fingers crossed for December!
Big hugs to all of you!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Life doesn't come with an instruction booklet and decisions should never be final!
I believe that we shape our own lives based on the choices that we make. Naturally external circumstances can have an effect on our lives but even at a moment when the surrounding situation is unfavorable we make decisions that will take us a certain way. Personally I seem to have been given the gift of never feeling a lot of regret. I have made choices in my life that in hindsight were not very good but I think I learned something from these decisions anyway. They probably took me on a path I would otherwise have missed and they taught me not to fear failure. The worse case scenario is only as bad as you yourself let it be.
So, why do I write this? Well, the last few days I was confronted with other people’s choices and other peoples ideas on how to live your life which made me think about my own choices. When you have a family you want to make choices that generate as much happiness to as many as possible. If the kids would hate our move to Sweden and feel miserable here we could not have stayed here. Their happiness is central to my happiness! Luckily they have adjusted just fine and have settled in really well. I think the quality of life that they experience here is worth a lot and this obviously has an impact on my other choices. When I miss the big city life or the openness (and craziness) of the Dutch society I put this in relation to what we as a family get out of living here and then I feel that we made the right decision. However, and this is the crucial point, I firmly believe that all our decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last. Life is not a constant but a process and we are all life puzzles under construction. In a few years’ time (or tomorrow) our wants and needs might have changed and then we have to make new choices.
Sometimes I feel that people stick too much to the decisions they have made. We fear that if we change our minds we might cause so much trouble that it is better to stay put. It is not shameful to admit that a made decision was wrong because you probably took it under other circumstances.
Jochem and I once bought a house in Almere, the NL (well I bought a house with Jochem’s money as he had no time to go to the viewing) and after 3 months we hung up the last lamp in the house and sat down on the sofa.
-Do you think we will stay here for a long time, Jochem asked me.
- Actually no. This does not feel really right I answered.
- Oh, I am so happy you feel this way too, Jochem responded and the next day we put a sign in the garden that the house was for sale.
At this moment there were 27 houses for sale at our (very long) street and the market was far from good. We got rid of the house and it did cost us a bit but we made the right decision. We moved back to Nijmegen where we used to live previously, I quit my job and Jochem started job hunting in Nijmegen. We told everyone that now we would focus on our family and that we felt the most at home in Nijmegen, the Netherlands. Half a year later we packed our belongings and moved to South Africa instead. A job offer and a chance of experience something completely different made us change our minds again. However, the aim was still to spend more time together and that we did!
My message to you;
You are the choices you make in life and you can live with any choice you make! Strive for happiness!!
So, why do I write this? Well, the last few days I was confronted with other people’s choices and other peoples ideas on how to live your life which made me think about my own choices. When you have a family you want to make choices that generate as much happiness to as many as possible. If the kids would hate our move to Sweden and feel miserable here we could not have stayed here. Their happiness is central to my happiness! Luckily they have adjusted just fine and have settled in really well. I think the quality of life that they experience here is worth a lot and this obviously has an impact on my other choices. When I miss the big city life or the openness (and craziness) of the Dutch society I put this in relation to what we as a family get out of living here and then I feel that we made the right decision. However, and this is the crucial point, I firmly believe that all our decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last. Life is not a constant but a process and we are all life puzzles under construction. In a few years’ time (or tomorrow) our wants and needs might have changed and then we have to make new choices.
Sometimes I feel that people stick too much to the decisions they have made. We fear that if we change our minds we might cause so much trouble that it is better to stay put. It is not shameful to admit that a made decision was wrong because you probably took it under other circumstances.
Jochem and I once bought a house in Almere, the NL (well I bought a house with Jochem’s money as he had no time to go to the viewing) and after 3 months we hung up the last lamp in the house and sat down on the sofa.
-Do you think we will stay here for a long time, Jochem asked me.
- Actually no. This does not feel really right I answered.
- Oh, I am so happy you feel this way too, Jochem responded and the next day we put a sign in the garden that the house was for sale.
At this moment there were 27 houses for sale at our (very long) street and the market was far from good. We got rid of the house and it did cost us a bit but we made the right decision. We moved back to Nijmegen where we used to live previously, I quit my job and Jochem started job hunting in Nijmegen. We told everyone that now we would focus on our family and that we felt the most at home in Nijmegen, the Netherlands. Half a year later we packed our belongings and moved to South Africa instead. A job offer and a chance of experience something completely different made us change our minds again. However, the aim was still to spend more time together and that we did!
My message to you;
You are the choices you make in life and you can live with any choice you make! Strive for happiness!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Fart dangerous!!
It was Jochem’s birthday yesterday which he spent with his tax lawyer in the Netherlands. I hope he got some good news because otherwise it does not sound like a fun way to spend your birthday! We celebrated Jochem’s birthday in Lund with my family this weekend as he returned back home after a month in the US and Australia. He got everything he needed; a beer opener with a count function and a blue tie with matching cufflinks. From me he did not get anything but I have until tomorrow to come up with a gift as he then returns back from the NL. Any good ideas?
What do you give someone who turns 37? I guess I will stick to his own saying “less is more” which he often uses when I go shopping. However, to go from less to nothing is a bit harsh so maybe I should get creative very fast!
I spent the day with a Dutch film crew who were here to do a film about the Swedish emancipation model. I really prefer the role behind the camera and felt as if I was talking with a frog in my mouth most of the day. I definitely have to use my Dutch more and read Dutch books to keep the language alive!
The kids also got to participate in the film but I kept Nils out of sight. You never know what he will say and yesterday he invited me to come to bed to read a story for him. When I arrived a really bad smell was hanging around!
- You invite me to come and read for you and then you fart? I said to him.
- Yes, I am fart-dangerous (fisfarlig) he answered!
What do you give someone who turns 37? I guess I will stick to his own saying “less is more” which he often uses when I go shopping. However, to go from less to nothing is a bit harsh so maybe I should get creative very fast!
I spent the day with a Dutch film crew who were here to do a film about the Swedish emancipation model. I really prefer the role behind the camera and felt as if I was talking with a frog in my mouth most of the day. I definitely have to use my Dutch more and read Dutch books to keep the language alive!
The kids also got to participate in the film but I kept Nils out of sight. You never know what he will say and yesterday he invited me to come to bed to read a story for him. When I arrived a really bad smell was hanging around!
- You invite me to come and read for you and then you fart? I said to him.
- Yes, I am fart-dangerous (fisfarlig) he answered!
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