Dreams about a controled, relaxed and perfect life!

The drainage is done on the summerhouse, the electrician is almost finished and soon all pluming is new in the whole house. We have spent the weekend throwing out rubbish, putting furniture’s that we want to save in the basement while Nils has been taking out spikes in the wooden floors and the girls have played at the lake. They have sent off several bottles of secret messages out on the lake so soon we’ll probably get a visit from the local garbage management! The carpenters were supposed to start tomorrow but we just found out that there is a two-week delay. Well, it was going a bit too smooth!

Opposite to what people might think I don’t like renovations but I do like the results so I take on the challenge over and over again. We had just completed the renovations of our house in Nijmegen when we moved to Sweden. Last winter and spring we lived in a small summer cottage as our current house underwent a major make-over and now we are at it again. The planning of it, all the decision making that has to be done and controlling the budget are all things that easily increases one’s stress level. The process has helped Jochem develop his Swedish rapidly and I think he is a lot better renovation manager then me. He has also extended his network and sometimes uses Swedish terms that even I am unsure of. Integrating into the Swedish society and culture can happen in many different ways! All I dream about is a finished house, sitting on the balcony and enjoying the beautiful view over the lake!
One day! One day.....

A heart without wrinkels!

I watched the Hours a few days ago. Yes, I guess my lifestyle shows that I am at least 5 years behind the rest of you but it did not take away the impact. What a wonderful film. It has stayed with me for days and inspired me to finish things I should have done a long time ago. Despite the heavy subject regarding three women stuck in a world they do not feel part of or where happiness is long gone and suddenly seems impossible to find I found it a positive story. We all live our small lives in a complicated world but luckily today it is filled with choices (at least in my world). The option to choose how to live ones life or what to do with our lives is no guarantee for happiness but at least it makes the possible paths more visible.

I saw my grandmother in Virginia Woolf even though they lived very different lives. Virginia was ahead of her time and so was my grandmother. I think my grandma lost her freedom, her need to travel and explore other places due to a pregnancy and a lot of pressure from life in a small town. You need to have an idea of survival or an idea of possibilities in order to take life-changing steps. You need role models and someone telling you over and over again that you can do anything you want. My grandmother did what she thought was expected of her and I am very grateful as I would probably not have been here otherwise. I just wish I could believe that her life had more happiness.

Even with all the options in life happiness can pas you by or get lost somewhere on the way. Should we be more careful? Are we doing anything wrong when life is not as bright and shiny as we might wish?

In the film, Leonard – Virginias husband – asks her why someone has to die in the book she is writing. Virginias answers that someone has to die so that we who are left can value our lives more. She lets the poet - the visionary character in the book, take his life. We who are left need to choose life. Suicides is obviously an extreme option but I think she has a point and tonight when I read for little Nils the point was made again in a book about Alfons Åberg.

In this childrens book little Alfons is bored together with his dad. Christmas is over and they have nothing to do. They wonder why life can not be fun all the time and get the idea that everyday of the year should be Christmas except one, which should be a birthday instead. Alfons grandmother laughs at their idea and says;
- That is the most stupid idea I ever heard. Then nothing would be fun as you would not notice the difference between fun and boring moments. We need to have boring moments in order to value the special once.

Films and art give us pictures, books and articles give us stories, and ideas and insights but the packaging of it all is in the eye of the beholder. It is easy to let life go by and it is a lot more difficult to choose life but the fact that I can choose makes me happy. Yesterday I read the book “The heart doesn’t get wrinkles” by Mark Levengood. Short stories, some deep and some fun, but maybe the title said it all. Life is full of stories and possibilities.

Kisses to Jochem who has been travelling for some time and feels lost on the way! There are only possibilities and no dead end!

Eating out in Amsterdam!

I have been very busy the last weeks but tomorrow I will enjoy a few days of Easter holiday. We have never celebrated Easter to any major extent but this year we have a “påskris” and the kids have done quite a lot of Easter decorations. My parents have taken care of their grandchildren for a week and are probably in need of a holiday as well now! We will enjoy some nice food and visit Hornborgarsjön in Sweden. Lake Hornborga is a paradise for resting and breeding wetland birds. Every year, the lively dance steps of the resting cranes attract huge crowds of spectators and this year 18 500 wetland birds have arrived at the lake.

Last week I finished an evaluation report regarding our municipal partner project with Voi in Kenya. This project, funded by the Swedish aid organization SIDA, was set up with the purpose of developing a relationship between the Municipality in Voi, Kenia and Ulricehamn municipality. By visiting each other a platform was established where future ideas, regarding knowledgeexchenge and cooperation between us, can grow. We found three areas of mutual interest which we now want to develop: environmental and climate issues, democracy issues and health and substance abuse issues. Before the first of May a concrete project plan will be handed in to SIDA. I am looking forward to visit Voi and Kenya in the fall or next year. Since my stay in South Africa, Africa holds a special place in my heart and yesterday I read an engaging article about Kenya on the flight back to Sweden.

The last four days have been spent in Amsterdam visiting the UVW. I know a lot of Dutch people have a negative image of the UVW but I was impressed. The Dutch system is so well thought through and the different institutions (unemployment offices, health insurance companies and the social insurance offices work together in a much more effective way then they do in Sweden). They have been able to lower their numbers of people on a disability benefit from almost 10% to 4 % (in Sweden we are somewhere above 6 %) and both employers and employees think that the system has been beneficial. The cost savings are enormous and currently the average Dutch person calls in sick 1.2 times a year! As the employers are financially responsible for any sickness the first 2 years they really have to work hard on keeping the employees motivated and happy. I think this encourage employability as it is essential for employers to help employees to develop and learn more.

Our trip to Amsterdam was not only a success looking at the content of the seminars. We had some time to enjoy Amsterdam by boat and visit the restaurant “De Kas” which was a memorable moment! Anyone looking for a really nice restaurant, at a beautiful location with a excellent menu should go there! http://www.restaurantdekas.nl/

Enjoy the Easter holiday!

Something good is in the air!

It was time to set the clocks one hour ahead this weekend. Naturally we forgot this as we were so busy taking part in Earth Hour the night before and missed the news. Ingrid’s soccer trainer helped us by calling and asking why we were not at the tournament the next morning. Luckily we got there in time and the girls played their way to the final, which they eventually lost. It was a great Sunday with beautiful weather and Elsa spent most of it outside on the bicycle with Sofia.

The light is coming back and tonight we had a fantastic low evening sun setting over the lake. The changing of season is something fantastic and each season is always special but best is the change to spring. Somehow people also change when the light finds its way back and happiness seems to spread. Problems get smaller and possibilities greater. I wonder if this is culturally defined? If I had grown up in South Africa instead of in Sweden would I have felt the same way about the changes of seasons? Would the autumn storms with hot chocolate and a good book have felt the same? The Kenyan visitors who were here this winter did not see the positive aspects to the white snow and the cold air despite being dressed in the warmest of winter clothes. Maybe we get socially and culturally programmed as kids and those images stay with us. We see and feel something and it brings back some positive memories. The memory itself might be lost but the positive feeling about it remains. Maybe I am just lucky that I had such a positive childhood? Due to that I can sit and smile and just take the early spring breeze in and know that something good is about to come!

Support to businesses, making people healthier and enjoying life a little bit more as well!

It looked like spring was getting closer and for two days we were able to bicycle to school and work but then the snow came back. The snow reflects a lot of light and the sun tells us that the season is changing but it is still a bit too cold. Next week I go to the Netherlands to visit the Dutch UWV. We have a project supported by the European Social Fund where we are looking at the Dutch model for lowering the number of long-term illnesses. Sweden has the highest number of long term ill people but we live the longest?? Ulricehamn municipality and Tranemo municipality are participating in the project and our project leader is connected to Göteborg University. We hope to find new models and tools to work with and see how the NL were able to lower there number of long-term illnesses. They have been very successful in the last 10 years!

Amsterdam in April sounds very attractive at the moment and I am really longing for a change of scenery and strolling around visiting small unique shops in Amsterdam (and to do some serious work as well!!). When I get back I will be seeing my family from Lund and spend Easter with them! Maybe we meet up here in Ulricehamn or I go to Lund but both options are fine. The kids are looking forward spending Easter break with grandma and grandpa in Lund!!

The last two weeks I have collected 50 hours of overtime! I have written a proposal applying for funds for 54 businesses in our region that are all suffering from the financial crises. We want support for training personal to help the individual companies but also to increase the skills for the individuals making them more employable. The flexicuritymodels used in several other countries around Europe are interesting to look at and the project also has a scientific part to it. However, there are many regions, districts and cities fighting to get the financial support and this proposal had to be written in two weeks time so we will see what happens. I have applied for 3,5 million Euros so it is quite a big project! Today I have a day off to catch up on things in and around the house. Cleaning should be on the list but I have scrapped it off the list and put in playing the guitar, doing some body combat training, eating nice food and enjoying a nice bottle of wine instead! This weekend Ingrid has a football tournament, we have two birthday parties and Jochem wants to look at some boats again. Spring will come and then he will make sure we are all ready to enjoy the beautiful lakes around here!

Hope spring is close to you too!!!

Attracting Dutch people to Ulricehamn

Last weekend I was in the Netherlands at the emigration fair outside Utrecht. Thousands of Dutch people spent their weekend looking at emigration possibilities and 72 Swedish municipalities were there to attract some of them. The trade between the two countries has been constantly increasing the last years and currently the Netherlands is our 5th largest export market, which makes it a more important market then France. Last years trade increased with 6% despite the financial situation in the world.

At the same time many Dutch people feel that their country is over crowded. People living in the Randstad area (Amsterdam, Rotterdam and The Hague area) live in one of the most populated areas in the world. It is an exciting area filled with creativity and innovation but it is also an area where house prices stay high and crime rates as well. When you travel on the train you never know when one city ends and the other begins. Integration issues, crime, filled schools, endless commuting, high living costs etc. are only some of the reasons why people are looking into emigrating somewhere else. Sweden is a country of interest as we can offer what they are missing and for us it is interesting to attract high-educated people with an entrepreneurial mindset. The Netherlands have the highest number of self-starters in Europe which is interesting as their social system is similar to ours. What makes people start their own business?

The target for Ulricehamn is to become 25 000 inhabitants in 2020 and in order to achieve this we are looking at attracting both commuters from our neighbouring municipalities as well as international competence. The emigration fair was a first step for our municipality to look at the international market and we focused on attracting businesses. The strategic location of Ulricehamn (close to the airport Landvetter and surrounded by the three larger cities Jönköping, Borås and Göteborg) made us stand out at the fair. Many people want to live in a big house on the countryside but naturally you want to have a large customer base near by and a large employment market. Now we have attracted the interest and the real work will start. We are expecting many visitors in the coming months!

The European Social Fund (ESF) has an extra call open and I am currently writing an application for competence development for businesses in seven municipalities. Time is short and I usually have a lot more time when I write applications so this is a tough one. Tomorrow I am off to Malmö and a meeting regarding EUs energy program and next week I am off to Stockholm for a meeting regarding EUs healthprogram (and in between this I work on the ESF application). Needless to say I am looking forward to April and some more normal working hours.

Jochem will be home for a week and is currently learning everything there is to know about wooden boats. He can’t wait for spring and summer to start to get our boat out again. I wouldn’t be surprised if we soon have one more boat. I have noticed that he is taking up boat orders from people all over the world so who knows what new business ideas he is up too!?

Hope you are also enjoying a sunny Sunday!

Sun is in the air! (with or without a moose head!)

Everything has its ups and downs and I got a message from a friend asking how deep my dip actually is. My blog has been quite pessimistic lately without me even noticing it. Well, I am neither suicidal nor desperate but maybe I have been a bit self-centered lately and that shall now change. I guess the winter months here were a bit tougher then I expected but luckily I was the only one caught by this virus. Jochem and the kids are enjoying life fully by skiing, playing football, going horseback riding or taking part in whisky tasting events (you have to guess who does what!)

I am enjoying my work and am trying to structure it better in order to be better at evaluating results as they come in. As I constantly work on different projects I need to know where they are going and how successful they are. The financial situation in the municipality and in the world puts more pressure on people but I also see advantages when new ideas might get more room and changes are seen as possibilities.

Today the sun was shining and spring was in the air. It is no longer possible to drive on the lake and birds are singing in the still naked trees. I feel inspired by the light and soon we will start our next renovation project – the summerhouse in Vegby (15 minutes south of Ulricehamn). I am filling it with auction furniture (a new hobby I’ve developed!) and funny gadgets. I tried to get a moose head at the last auction but it was a bit too expensive. Instead I came home with an old typewriter, some chairs, a bed, a drawer and some sun chairs. Our summerhouse will look great when its finished though the road to completion lies further ahead then we want to admit. Last weekend the radiator in the kitchen exploded due to expanding ice but we wont give up. We still bravely invite you and hope for visits this summer!

Lots of sunny kisses to you all!!!
Ulrika

Education - is it a right or a privilege?

I think it should be a right and considered as a privilege. There are a million different methods when it comes to education and we as parents bring our values with us when choosing a school for our children. My children go to a private Montessori school, which in Swedish terms might be a bit stricter, then the public schools in Sweden. However, the kids enjoy their school and perform well and I guess that is what you want as a parent. I want my children to feel safe while in school. I want them to be able to use all their creativity in order to learn and I want them to feel good abut them selves – to feel that they can take on the world and participate in it as full blown individuals.

Yesterday I opened the local newspaper only to find 3 negative articles about the school. A parent had handed in a complaint in 2007 and I guess since this is such a small place where very little happens the paper decided to make it a first page story now. The articles depict a school where children are not allowed to laugh, to run or to play freely. It is a picture I cannot agree with and the journalistic level is seriously low so I have written a response and so have many other parents. Needless to say the fantastic teachers are hurt and a crises meeting was held last night with a follow up for the parents next week.

One good thing that has come out of this are the parent’s engagement in the school. We are many who feel that Lindängens Montessorischool in Ulricehamn is a unique school and a school to be proud of.

Below follows my response that was posted in the local paper "Ulricehamns tidning". It is in Swedish!


Lindängens Montessoriskola – en unik skola och en skola att vara stolt över!

I UT den 24 februari uttrycker en förälder kritik över Lindängens Montessoriskola i Ulricehamn. Som mamma till tre barn på skolan (i både förskolan och grundskolan) och med erfarenhet av andra skolor så skulle jag vilja kommentera kritiken.

När vi flyttade till Ulricehamn för ett år sedan besökte vi de tre grundskolorna med närliggande förskolor i tätorten. Vi blev mycket positivt bemötta på alla skolor och upplevde olika fördelar med de olika skolorna. Vi valde därför att låta barnen bestämma och valet föll på Lindängens Montessoriskola. Ett val vi inte ångrar det minsta. Den lugna stämningen, den personliga kontakten med fröknarna, den tydliga respekt som råder elever emellan och Montessori pedagogiken tilltalar oss.

På förskoleavdelningen väljer barnen vad de vill arbeta med och andra barn måste visa respekt för varandras arbeten. Man får inte gå in och störa eller avbryta någon som sitter med ett pussel, skär grönsaker, arbetar med bokstäver eller ritar. Under förmiddagarna arbetar man med det individuella barnets utveckling och barnet väljer själv vad det vill arbeta med. Under eftermiddagarna är det fri lek utomhus. Naturligtvis får man lov att skratta och ha roligt i skolan men man måste också visa hänsyn för andra och busa får man göra utomhus.

Är detta orimliga krav? Jag tycker inte det. Jag tycker att det är viktigt att barnen tar fröknarna i hand och säger god morgon och god dag när de kommer och går. Jag tycker att det är viktigt att ljudnivån är på en sådan nivå att barnen kan arbeta kreativt och koncentrerat. Skolan är inte en uppsamlingsplats utan ett ställe för barn och ungdomar att utbildas, växa och stimuleras så att de kan ta sig an vuxenlivet på bästa möjliga sätt.

Den svenska skolan klarar sig inte så bra i internationella jämförelser. Vi börjar senare med att lära oss läsa och skriva, vi gör sämre ifrån oss inom flera olika ämnesområden men står inför allt större internationell konkurrens. På Lindängen börjar man med engelska redan i förskoleklassen under ledning av en brittisk fröken. Man uppmuntrar barn med snabbare studietakt och man ger extra stöd åt de som behöver det. Då det är en liten skola med ca 10 elever i varje klass får alla elever mycket personlig uppmärksamhet och ingen faller mellan stolarna.

Olika familjer har olika behov och önskemål vad gäller sina barns utbildning. Alla kanske inte tycker om Montessoripedagogiken eller de regler som råder på skolan men jag är glad och tacksam gentemot personalen på Lindängen. Det är en unik skola och en skola att vara stolt över!

Ulrika Geeraedts; mamma till Ingrid, Elsa och Nils

The Swedish national song contest - integration at its highest level!

It´s Saturday night and the Swedish national song contest is about to start in an hour on national television. Why do I tell you this? Well, it is a cultural observation. This country is dedicated to this song festival, which consists of several episodes featuring 8 songs each time where 2 get selected for the great grand final. It is amazing to see how a country can get so involved in Swedish pop music, which is really aimed for the Swedish market. We produce pop music for the whole world but the music played in this festival is typically Swedish and wouldn’t survive outside our borders. For the coming 8 weeks the kids have booked the TV room every Saturday night and I find my refuge to the Internet. At least now that Jochem is away and no friends are visiting.

I have had a week off work as the kids have had “sport vacation” for a week. Yes, we actually call it sport vacation and it is a one-week break from school in February every year. We went down to my parents and celebrated Ingrid’s 10th birthday for a few days and came back on Wednesday to enjoy the snow, some skiing and Elsa went on a horseback riding camp. Jochem is Japan and will be back in 8 days. He has experienced Japanese hospitality and spent last night out with his Japanese colleges returning to his hotel room at 6 am after visiting every game arcade, a number of pubs and probably some karaoke places as well in Tokyo.

I am still trying to recover from my small town blues. I know I can be a bit demanding and I need response to what I do. I prefer criticism instead of silence or ignorance and when people do not act in any direction what so ever I get frustrated. There is more to this place then what I currently see. I just wish it had a bit more diversity and craziness. While living in the Netherlands I sometimes felt that everything in the NL had to be over the top. Every TV show had to move the level of acceptance a little bit more and if it wasn’t crazy or brutal it was not worth airing. Here it is the opposite and I have lived too long in the NL to feel comfortable with it. Well, I know that this is a luxury problem these days and on Monday I will be back at work planning two working trips to the Netherlands and writing a proposal for a new cooperation between Ulricehamn and Voi in Kenya (yes, they did arrive and we had an interesting and very intensive week!). I am looking forward to next weekend when the house will be filled with girlfriends, wine, talks, laughter and maybe some tears!

Time to watch some Swedish disco!

Problems or challenges!

It is Friday night and Nils (5) and I are having an evening on our own. The girls are off to the movies with Jochem. Nils and I have watched cartoons, eaten more candy then needed (yes, I am a firm believer that sometimes you really need candy), had ice cream and now we lay completely stuffed on the sofa.

It has been a chaotic week at work and yesterday I had my first attack of the small town virus. I suddenly felt stuck in an environment of close mindedness and conservatism. When I started here everyone focused on the importance of getting new blood in – someone with a different view on things and with lots of new ideas. However, people often say that but are not fully aware of what that means.

To me it means changes and to try new ways and methods to ensure quality improvement and development. You also have to have some gut. Don’t complain about something if you are not prepared to change it and to try something new! We are not working with problems but with challenges and if you see it as a challenge, a solution might not be far away! However, you have to have an attitude of willingness and be open to new ideas but in public service organisations you sometimes find people who have settled for the “problem attitude”. Something is not working ideal and still it remains the same. No one feels that they are responsible for solving it and the urge for change is long gone after decades on the same job.

AAAuuuggg! Well, after leaving a group of tired civil servants of the “old school” I wondered if I have landed at the right spot. Is working for a municipality really my thing? Does someone as outspoken as me fit in this setting and how can I continue being creative when there is so little creative input from others? Well, I guess it had to come. Jochem warned me before our move here that small town life has it pros and cons. Luckily I work at the right department at the municipality in a dynamic group and in that perspective I am lucky. And maybe one day I will inspire someone to try something totally out of the box! After all this is not a serious problem but a challenge I will take on!

Now Nils and I will finish the Richard Scary film and head for bed. Tomorrow a group of five year olds invade us as we celebrate Nils 5th birthday! Talk about a challenge!!!

A seriously bad hair day!

It is January and I am suffering from the January blues. I have gone from having a bad hair day to having a bad hair month. The heating has not worked for two weeks and I walk around in the house dressed like a Michelin man wondering what I have done to deserve this. This morning the heating guys arrived and after an hour they told me that this was a little bit complicated. Complicated – what does that mean? Probably more money but I pretended not to get that message. Yesterday I received the highest energy bill I have ever seen which felt a bit ironic, as we have no heating. Well, the bill was for November and December and the heating did not give up until January so I guess I have no option but paying. With minus 10 outside, and two young guys in the basement working at something “complicated” I have decided to be nice. I want heat and having a fit about the complications does not seem to serve my purpose so I am nice. (but if I have no heating before the weekend I’ll go mad!)

This morning (after dealing with the complications in the basement) I brought the girls to the ski slope. They have an outdoor sports day at school. We were a bit late and I needed to get to work on time but naturally we run into new complications. The lock on the ski box had frozen and did not want to open. Blowing warm air in the lock led nowhere but luckily I found a smoker who lent me her lighter and after ten minutes and no feeling in my fingers anymore I was able to open the box and get the skis out. I arrived late at work, without having had any breakfast and had a shock when I saw myself in the mirror. Seriously bad hair day and black rings underneath my eyes. It is January and life is great!

Happy New Year 2009!

Every year I write a Christmas letter to friends and family but this year I missed the deadline! So, here is my New Years greeting for 2009!

Happy New Year 2009!

As you read this we hope you have all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas holiday with family and friends! I just didn’t get ready on time this year to send our annual Christmas letter before Christmas so here is our New Years greeting for 2009! We have had a very busy year filled with many memorable moments.

After 11 years abroad I moved back to Sweden and this time brought with me my family. The last ten years we have lived in several countries around the world and naturally talked a lot about Sweden. Last year we decided that if we wanted to give the children a chance to experience Sweden for real we would have to move now, before they get to old. We also wanted to experience something new and different and so we ended up in the small town of Ulricehamn located about an hour drive from Göteborg in the south of Sweden. I got a job as International coordinator at the municipality of Ulricehamn and Jochem is commuting between Sweden and the Netherlands.

During our Christmas holiday last year we bought a house in Ulricehamn and in January I travelled to Sweden with the girls to look at schools. In mid February I finished my work at the embassy in the Hague and a few days later the moving truck brought our belongings to our new home. Needless to say January was a crazy month and when we celebrated Ingrids 9th birthday in February we did so with 100 moving boxes in the living room!

On the 15 of February we arrived in Ulricehamn and two days later the builders arrived to start the renovation. After two weeks we realised that living in the house during the renovation was not ideal, so we moved out into a small cottage in the forest. Living in the forest in a winter landscape with foxes and deer walking by was quite an experience for us all. Naturally the renovation took a longer time then expected but in May we finally moved back to our new home. We now live in a typical Swedish red wooden house with a surrounding garden with apple and peer trees.

For the children this was a year of many changes and many new experiences. They go to a small Montessori school with 10 children in each class situated in a charming old brick building surrounded by a large park-like playground. Elsa (8) felt at home right away and has made some really good friends. For Ingrid (almost 10) the move was a bit more difficult but I think she has now settled in quite well enjoying school and different sports (soccer, golf, tennis). Nils (5) had some difficulty with the Swedish at first but now he speaks very well. The children spend a lot more time outside nowadays and we are all enjoying the beautiful nature surrounding Ulricehamn. We have tried to make use of all the sports opportunities here by taking up golf, skiing, sledding and this summer Jochem bought a boat. We also bought a summerhouse in Vegby, 15 km south of Ulricehamn situated 30 meters from a lake (hence the need of a boat :)!).

Summer went by too fast but we enjoyed the company of many visitors from Sweden, the Netherlands, India and South Africa. Great to see you all and thank you for coming!!! Next summer the renovation of our summerhouse will be finished and ready for more visitors! We had a fun family reunion in Stockholm in June where the children met up with their “Stockholm” siblings whom they had never met before. Ingrid and Elsa are now planning our next Stockholm trip, as they don’t want to loose contact with their newfound family :)!

Jochem started a second company in the Netherlands this fall (Apiron) and travelled quite a bit this year (to the US, Australia and Europe). I spend most of my time in Ulricehamn but had some time for visits to Belgium, the Netherlands and Latvia. I really like my job and work in a great team. We still have to work on expanding our social network but the people of Ulricehamn are friendly and helpful so I think we will be successful!

In a few days time we move into 2009. For us 2008 was an intense year and now it is time to enjoy life a bit more. Jochem will be working in France in 2009 but will go to China and Japan in February. Usually he spends 3 days abroad and 4 days in Sweden so the travelling is not too bad. 2008 was a baby boom year among family and friends. My sister Hanna gave birth to little Ellen in January and enjoyed this so much that she is going for a second one in May! Una, Arnold, Marlou, Felien and Siem also joined our world (and if I forgot someone I apologize!). Congratulations to all parents and newcomers!

We wish you all a great new year with lots of new and happy experiences!
Lots of love from all of us!

Ingrid, Elsa, Nils, Jochem and Ulrika Geeraedts

Time and memorable moments!

I always thought it sounded corny when my parents used to say that ”time goes so fast” but nowadays I hear myself say the same thing. On this day five years ago I went into labor with Nils. Jochem sat in an airplane and I was home alone with Ingrid and Elsa. I knew that Jochem wouldn´t answer the phone but I still called him hoping that he would be able to land, drive from Brussels to Nijmegen and be in time before arrival. He was! 15 minutes before Nils decided to make an entrance he arrived dressed in a dark suit still holding his briefcase. Nils popped out and Jochem said – that went quick! (something I could not agree with and that has been up for discussion a number of times since then :)!)

Today we will celebrate Nils birthday with my parents and my sister and her family. We have landed in a wonderful winter landscape and Ulricehamn looks beautiful with its picturesque architecture, small snow covered streets and children pulling their slays. The dark falls early but all windows lit up in the dark and everyone has some kind of Christmas light in their windows. The girls would have like us to have the same type of stars as the majority of people but I am trying to convince them that being unique can also be something to strive for. Why is it that children find it so important to do things the same way as other people do?

Yesterday evening they celebrated Lucia at school to the great excitement of the children. We stood outside in the snow while the children sung Lucia carols and the parents were served warm Glögg. It was really cold but the engagement of the children made it a memorable moment. Unfortunately my phone camera did not cooperate!

At work I have been keeping busy with many applications and this week we had an international day for the politicians and higher civil servants which I think was appreciated. I feel that more and more people within the municipality are getting involved in international activities and projects which is great.

Tomorrow Jochem and I are heading for Kronovalls slott (a castle in the south of Sweden). It is not only five years since Nils was born! On the 14th of December it is our 10th wedding anniversary!! Talking about time and the passing of it! Here we are, ten years later with three kids who speak 3 languages. We have moved 10 times to four different countries, had many different jobs, bought and sold several houses, travelled the world, gotten to know fantastic people, experienced cultural differences and difficulties at times and now we are experiencing Ulricehamn. What the future will hold I don’t know but I do know that the last ten years were filled with many, many memorable moments!

Wishing you all lots of snow for Christmas!

Forbidding the use of snus in Ulricehamn???

How much does living abroad affects you? I guess that the longer you stay somewhere and the more integrated you get the more “their” ideas will become “your own” ideas. I felt quit Swedish living abroad but being back I notice that my ideas often are very much mine. Sweden is not as liberal as I thought and people are much less critical then the Dutch. If Big brother tells you that this is how you should live your life most Swedes go – OK! A Dutch person would do the opposite and would interpret the rule to fit their own ideas of how society should be run (which sometimes can be just as annoying!).

A few weeks ago I wrote about the strange adult film policy we have here in the municipality. I am not allowed to stay in a hotel while on a conference where there is a possibility to watch adult films as this can give me the wrong idea about women and sexuality???? (9th of October – “Emancipation and adult films” in this blog). Now the next strange policy is on the agenda! Some people want to ban the right for people working for the municipality to use any form of tobacco. Well, before we welcome this idea (which many people seem to do!) we need to decide what we mean by tobacco and question if and why we need to add new regulations. In situations where use of a substance may affect bystanders, regulations - such as in the case of smoking - should be enacted to protect the bystander without denying the individual's choice to use the substance. Smoking and non-smoking areas in public places are a prime example of this. It is already forbidden to smoke in any public building in Sweden so we do not need any new laws in this area. However, the policy discussed in Ulricehamn is not only looking at smoking or other drug abuse but want to forbid the use of snus.

Snus, a Swedish tobacco product, is a moist powder product that is consumed by placing it under the upper lip for extended periods of time. It contains nicotine and since the indoor smoking ban was put into place in Sweden in 2005, sales of snus has increased dramatically. You can use snus without it affecting anyone else and recent studies from Umeå University in Sweden have shown that no carcinogenic effects can be attributed to snus. Using snus does not increase your chance on getting cancer. In fact WHO acknowledges that Swedish men have the lowest rate of lung cancer in Europe, partly due to the low tobacco smoking rate.
Why should we as municipality forbid people to use a product that is not dangerous to the user and does not affect bystanders? How much freedom can you take away from an individual and don’t we want people that take responsibility of their own actions?

Some people will choose to use their freedom to engage in activities that go against our personal values. It is a great temptation to use our democratic rights to try and enshrine our own personal values - whether they come from religious or humanistic origins - in the laws of a nation or as organisation. However, we can use other means to fight for the ideas we believe in. Freedom of choice, as long as it does not infringe on another's rights, is something to treasure!

Life is full of miracles!

Despite lack of oxygen little Siem is doing better day by day as well as his mother. Lots of kisses to Barbara, Roel and little Siem!!! Enjoy!

A fragile life!

Friends of mine had their first child this weekend. What should have been a moment of exited happiness turned out to be a nightmare. The mother got Heelp syndrome and almost lost her life and their baby suffered from shortage of oxygen. Now they are stable but still in intensive care and the future of the baby unknown.

Why is life so unfair and what can you do to help? When something like this happens I cant help looking at my own kids and being thankful for their health and possibilities to grow.

Every day is a chance to enjoy life and the people we fill our lives with!
Lots of love to you all!!

Living with two hearts

Five days in not enough. Not if you want to visit friends, family and take part in a conference. I’ve spent the past five in the Netherlands being back for the first time in 9 months. It was great and much too short. I’m sorry I missed so many of you and I promise I’ll be back shortly!

It is strange how you can feel about a country and its inhabitants. Sitting on a train between Eindhoven and the Hague I thought to myself, this country is overcrowded, full of cars and in the early morning full of stress but still it feels like home. This multicultural country, full of colour and creativity has an energy about it which spreads to people willing to take it in. It is somewhat chaotic and sometimes a bit weird. I cannot explain what makes the Dutch so unique and at times I get annoyed, surprised or challenged but never ever bored!

Creativity and innovation often rises from unexpected situations where people meet and exchange ideas and knowledge. The Netherlands has the largest amount of small businesses in Europe and you can almost feel the entrepreneurship atmosphere. At the same time they have almost the highest amount of part time working women in Europe and there are lots if discussions in regard to the lack of ambition of Dutch women. They do well at school, they are better educated then the men and still they do not reach the higher positions on the labour market.

This was the core challenge discussed at the emancipation conference I visited while in the NL. Naturally one can point out a few things that could increase the possibilities for women in the NL such as better and available childcare, stronger financial incentives to work more etc. but there is a clear difference between Sweden and the NL in how we look at combining work and family life. One of the speakers at the conference was Gertrud Åström – a guru on gender mainstreaming and an inspiration to listen to. With a clear message, backed up with statistics she brings about a message full of wit. She showed that from 1970 to 2007 the amount of women who chose not to have any children at all has stayed on 14 % in Sweden. Women in Sweden, who almost all work fulltime do not feel that there is a need to chose between a career and having a family. Actually the opposite has happened. Women are financially independent in Sweden, (which only 38 % are in the NL) they work full time and they have more children then the average European. There is a correlation between financial independence and having more children, which I find really interesting! If we want to do something with the birth rates in Europe we need to use the capacity of women and have a law system, which gives women their financial independence. This is not the case in many countries such as in the NL where a couple is taxed as one unit. As long as women do not have control over their own income and their own pension we will stay unequal!

My trip to the NL also included seeing some good friends and enjoying the Dutch hospitality! We hope to see you here soon! It was a dual feeling returning back to Ulricehamn and Sweden but the beautiful layer of snow and the kids enjoyment of it made returning a bit easier. I live in a beautiful place that offers a lot and luckily the Netherlands is not very far away. It is time for the kids to go to bed and I will get my head out the door and shout to them that its time to come in. They can spend hours in the snow!!!

A visit to Latvia!

Can a country be united through music? According to many Latvians the nations strong choir movement has been a factor in consolidating the nation. I have spent the last three days visiting Latvia and the Dobele district as Ulricehamn has a town twinning agreement with Dobele. It was an interesting visit, which made me think of the importance of culture and music for a nation and its people. Latvia regained independence from the Soviet Union in 1991 but the last three days they have been celebrating the 90th anniversary of their prior independence

On the second day of our visit we took part in a music event with participants from Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and Poland. All the performances were really good but what made the strongest impression was the last song. When the small choir started singing everyone in the hall joined in and all in different tunes. It was beautiful! My counterpart in Dobele told me that Latvians consider it an honour to sing in a choir. The foundation is laid at school, since music is on the curriculum from the first year and every village and larger enterprise has a choir of their own. She felt that choir singing has had (and still has) an important unifying element in a country with a complex history.

I went to Dobele with two colleagues, and we were all well looked after by our Latvian hosts. The only downside (except that we missed the flight back and that I lost my luggage) was the amount of vodka drunk by other guests the first night. I have been to parties in Eastern Europe before but this was really extreme and made it obvious why the life expectancy within Europe is very different. I don’t mind if people want to enjoy a glass of wine or a glass of vodka but when one guest alone drinks a bottle of vodka on his own during a 4 hour dinner and then loses all sense of dignity it is not only sad. It is embarrassing, annoying and being one of very few women in the group made the situation quite uncomfortable. Luckily the other two days were more or less alcohol free and the program and the discussions with our twinning partners well worth the trip!

I got stranded at Copenhagen airport and lost my luggage but got to spend two hours shopping and now have a new lingerie wardrobe and a very nice expensive dress so please invite me for a big party!!! Tomorrow I am off to the Netherlands!!! It will be great and I am really looking forward to see many of you! Five days is obviously not long enough but I will be back for a short weekend just before Christmas! We still have no snow in Ulricehamn but I have my fingers crossed for December!

Big hugs to all of you!

Life doesn't come with an instruction booklet and decisions should never be final!

I believe that we shape our own lives based on the choices that we make. Naturally external circumstances can have an effect on our lives but even at a moment when the surrounding situation is unfavorable we make decisions that will take us a certain way. Personally I seem to have been given the gift of never feeling a lot of regret. I have made choices in my life that in hindsight were not very good but I think I learned something from these decisions anyway. They probably took me on a path I would otherwise have missed and they taught me not to fear failure. The worse case scenario is only as bad as you yourself let it be.

So, why do I write this? Well, the last few days I was confronted with other people’s choices and other peoples ideas on how to live your life which made me think about my own choices. When you have a family you want to make choices that generate as much happiness to as many as possible. If the kids would hate our move to Sweden and feel miserable here we could not have stayed here. Their happiness is central to my happiness! Luckily they have adjusted just fine and have settled in really well. I think the quality of life that they experience here is worth a lot and this obviously has an impact on my other choices. When I miss the big city life or the openness (and craziness) of the Dutch society I put this in relation to what we as a family get out of living here and then I feel that we made the right decision. However, and this is the crucial point, I firmly believe that all our decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last. Life is not a constant but a process and we are all life puzzles under construction. In a few years’ time (or tomorrow) our wants and needs might have changed and then we have to make new choices.

Sometimes I feel that people stick too much to the decisions they have made. We fear that if we change our minds we might cause so much trouble that it is better to stay put. It is not shameful to admit that a made decision was wrong because you probably took it under other circumstances.

Jochem and I once bought a house in Almere, the NL (well I bought a house with Jochem’s money as he had no time to go to the viewing) and after 3 months we hung up the last lamp in the house and sat down on the sofa.
-Do you think we will stay here for a long time, Jochem asked me.
- Actually no. This does not feel really right I answered.
- Oh, I am so happy you feel this way too, Jochem responded and the next day we put a sign in the garden that the house was for sale.

At this moment there were 27 houses for sale at our (very long) street and the market was far from good. We got rid of the house and it did cost us a bit but we made the right decision. We moved back to Nijmegen where we used to live previously, I quit my job and Jochem started job hunting in Nijmegen. We told everyone that now we would focus on our family and that we felt the most at home in Nijmegen, the Netherlands. Half a year later we packed our belongings and moved to South Africa instead. A job offer and a chance of experience something completely different made us change our minds again. However, the aim was still to spend more time together and that we did!

My message to you;
You are the choices you make in life and you can live with any choice you make! Strive for happiness!!

Fart dangerous!!

It was Jochem’s birthday yesterday which he spent with his tax lawyer in the Netherlands. I hope he got some good news because otherwise it does not sound like a fun way to spend your birthday! We celebrated Jochem’s birthday in Lund with my family this weekend as he returned back home after a month in the US and Australia. He got everything he needed; a beer opener with a count function and a blue tie with matching cufflinks. From me he did not get anything but I have until tomorrow to come up with a gift as he then returns back from the NL. Any good ideas?
What do you give someone who turns 37? I guess I will stick to his own saying “less is more” which he often uses when I go shopping. However, to go from less to nothing is a bit harsh so maybe I should get creative very fast!

I spent the day with a Dutch film crew who were here to do a film about the Swedish emancipation model. I really prefer the role behind the camera and felt as if I was talking with a frog in my mouth most of the day. I definitely have to use my Dutch more and read Dutch books to keep the language alive!

The kids also got to participate in the film but I kept Nils out of sight. You never know what he will say and yesterday he invited me to come to bed to read a story for him. When I arrived a really bad smell was hanging around!
- You invite me to come and read for you and then you fart? I said to him.
- Yes, I am fart-dangerous (fisfarlig) he answered!

Culture and nationalism! Long live internationalisation!

I have been watching two documentaries tonight. The first one was a short report about why Germans love Sweden and Swedish culture (or what they imagine Swedish culture to be) and the second one was about the racist party Sverige Demokraterna who are striving for a monocultural society built on Swedish values and Swedish traditions. Both these films made me think about what’s Swedish and what makes a culture unique or special. We in Europe often talk in negative terms about the American melting pot. But what is it that we have that they don’t have, and does culture and history have a timeline? When does a building get a historical value – after one year, after ten or after a hundred? Obviously you cannot answer the question in this way. When the Opera house in Sidney was build it was far more expensive then anyone could dream of and many people criticised the politicians for spending so much money on a building. I don’t know if the number of admirers for the art of opera has increased in Sidney but the building is a landmark for Australia. It is probably one of the most well known images of Australia. The building has become a part of Australian culture and history. The architect was Danish and the building has no connection to any previous Australian architecture. Still it an Australian piece of art, isn’t it?

We celebrate Lucia in Sweden the 13th of December and it is a very popular tradition. The party Sverige Demokraterna are worried that typical Swedish traditions such as Lucia will die out if immigration into Sweden continues. What they seem to have forgotten is that Lucia is a fairly new tradition introduced in Stockholm in 1923 by a group of shop owners who wanted a “miss” contest in order to increase sales. The Lucia tradition comes from Italy but we interpreted it into becoming something very Swedish. There is nothing wrong in being proud over our traditions or enjoying taking part in them but it becomes a bit strange when we start marking them as national traditions aimed for a specific group of people. We talk about culture as if it is static phenomena but it is obviously something that is constantly evolving. It never stops and it never ends.

Look at music for example. Sweden is the 3rd largest music exporter in the world with over 800 million dollars in revenue last year –superceded only by the US and the UK. Per capita we are the most profitable music country in the world. When you turn on the radio in Sweden or anywhere else in the world you are probably listening to some Swedish music without even knowing it as we especially good at writing and producing music for many big American artists such as Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears. Does the music sound typically Swedish? Is it even possible to put nationalistic labels on music? I think we can talk about trends or influences in music but it is very difficult to say that this is typically Swedish music while that is typically German music. With internationalisation going on as I sit here writing we will see even more blending and mixing of different music traditions and the same goes for fashion, interior design, film and all kinds of artistic and cultural expressions. Does this not sound exciting?

When people talk about culture and especially used in connection to nations we forget that the experience of culture is personal and unique. When I talk about Swedish values I might think about emancipation while this is not even on the agenda of Sverige Demokraterna.

With this I remark I go to bed. The kids are at my parents for a oneweek holiday and I will work tomorrow (on a Sunday again – bad habit!) and take Thursday and Friday off as Jochem is heading home. It has been a long month as a single mum!

Fighting racism and ignorance in a small town!

Ulricehamn is a great place but even here racist parties are gaining ground and last week they had a really stupid article in the local paper. I had to write a response (you know me - being quiet is not my style!) Today it was published and I have received several positive phone calls. Obviously I am awaiting a written response in the paper but for now I have posted the article here. It is in Swedish but when I get some more time I will make a short translation of it! For the Swedish readers:

Sverigedemokraterna vill fira Italiensk lucia och bojkotta Falaffeln!

Invandringen är för dyr, Ulricehamn bör säga upp avtalet med migrationsverket och den svenska (oj, det var visst den italienska) lucian måste vi värna om. Det är svårt att veta om man bör skratta eller gråta när Sverige Demokraterna tar till orda om det monokulturella samhället.

I insändaren i UT den 18 oktober talar SD om de enorma kostnaderna invandringen för med sig men glömmer nämna att i Spanien, Australien och Kanada utgör invandringen en betydande del för respektive lands ekonomiska utveckling. När vi talar om kostnader för invandringen bör dessa ställas till relation till ingen invandring alls vilket SD förespråkar. Vad för samhälle och utvecklingsmöjligheter får vi då?

Europas födelsetal blir allt lägre. Befolkningen i EU minskar. Vi har redan nu stora problem i vissa sektorer (tex. vården och äldreomsorgen) för att hitta kvalificerad personal och många företag är ute och rekryterar arbetskraft långt utanför Sveriges gränser. Vad vi behöver är högutbildad arbetskraft och en bättre integrationspolitik som ser till att vi tar tillvara på den kompetens invandrarna för med sig. Jag sticker inte under stol med att det finns betydande integrations problem som vi måste ta tag i men dessa problem har med vårt system att göra. Nima Sanandaji, Vd för tankesmedjan Captus, visade under Irakkonferensen i Stockholm tidigare i år att invandrarna från Mellanöstern till USA, klarar sig bra på den amerikanska arbetsmarknaden medan det råder en motsatt situation i Sverige. Kombinationen av en trög arbetsmarknad, höga skatter och generösa bidragssystem leder till att samma grupp av människor som blir framgångsrika på andra sidan Atlanten hamnar i social fattigdom och beroende i Sverige.

Jag har spenderat de senaste 11 åren utomlands och vet hur det känns att stå med en svensk universitets examen och få höra;
- Lunds universitet i Sverige? Det universitetet känner vi inte till. Nej, den examen kan vi inte räkna med här.
Jag vet hur det känns när man inte är helt säker på de sociala reglerna. Två kindpussar i Frankrike, tre i Nederländerna och fyra i Belgien – eller hur var det nu? Det är inte lätt att vara nykomling men om man får en chans att visa vad man gå för så tar man den! Sverige Demokraterna ger inga chanser och ser inte möjligheterna!

För mig är svensk kultur och svensk historia det samma som solidaritet, demokrati och lika värde för alla individer. Jag är stolt över att vara svensk och stolt över de svenska värden vi spritt världen över såsom jämställdhet och öppenhet för andra kulturer. Jag äter kanske hellre falafel än rotmos men glädjes åt mångfalden på bordet. Den från Italien hitplockade moderna lucia traditionen (uppstod på Skansen 1927) har mina barn ännu aldrig upplevt då vi är nyinflyttade i Sverige men vi ser fram emot firandet av denna mångkulturella tradition i december!

En röst åt Sverige Demokraterna i nästa val är en röst för ett segregerat, trångsynt och stillastående samhälle!
Ulrika Geeraedts - tämligen nyinvandrad Ulricehamnsbo

A fake role model?

My parents spent the weekend in Ulricehamn helping me out with a mountain of washes and took care of the kids so that I could join my colleagues for a night out and so that I could do some work today (on a Sunday - L). I am going to be part of a Dutch documentary about emancipation in Sweden but currently I wonder what kind of role model I am? I think women in Sweden have come a long way but still our society is not equal and it is not because men are not doing the right thing. We all want to do so much and achieve so much in life that it becomes difficult to priorities and I am still not sure what I should priorities.

It is too easy to say that we should choose to take care of our children when they are young and have a carrier when they get older. I am not working to make a carrier but because it is fun, challenging and because I think I have something to offer. I am good at it! I don’t think I would be a good fulltime mother. I like to work and I want to work. And at the same time I want to be the mother the kids can count on and the one they can come to when they need to. Jochem is away this month and I am trying to give 100% at work (40 hours a week) and 100% to the kids but the pile of washes keep on growing, the house is getting seriously untidy and the garden needs a facelift. Thank god for parents who are willing to spend 6 hour in a car and a weekend cleaning at their daughters’ house (and they also work during the week!) They even brought a stew with them and filled up my empty fridge!

The puzzle of life is not easy and everyone seems to be struggling to find the right path. I don’t think it’s a simple solution to this but a number of possibilities. The question is which solution fits us the best? We work, have kids, try to keep the passion up in a relationship suffering from too little quality time, see friends and keep a little bit of social life and time is going so fast. Well, I guess this is true universal challenge. Are we fooling ourselves in trying to be the best in whatever field it might be – the best employee, the best parent, the best lover, the best cook, the best friend etc. In an individual society we need to be stronger and better. When is it OK to say that this is what I do and what I stand for and for the rest it – I need some help?

Well, I have no answer and it will probably take me some time to figure it all out. The only thing I know is that the older I get the more I realize how little I actually know but hopefully it makes me more flexible, more open to new solutions and more humble to other peoples choices!!

Time to tuck the kids in!!

The (rabbit) brothel at Wallenqvistgatan!

Jochem has left for the US and will be back in the end of October. I am desperately seeking some help for the days when I need to work a bit late or want to do some social activities. I want to find someone via my network and not put an ad in the local supermarket but what do you do? This Saturday Jochem and I went out alone for the first time in 6 months. Some friends, who actually already had guests this weekend themselves, took care of our kids for the night. Really, really nice of you Marlene and Peter! I guess the problem of finding someone to look after your children now and then is the biggest disadvantage of moving to a place where you have no family or friends from the beginning.

Talking about moving brings me to tomorrows task. I am hosting a meeting regarding increasing the inhabitants in the Sjuhärad region. Sjuhärad is a cooperation of seven cities in the west of Sweden and we are all looking into attracting more people and businesses from abroad – mainly the Netherlands and Germany. As a frequent mover (nine countries by now) I think I have quite a good picture of what one needs to get settled somewhere and what needs to be arranged before the move. I want the region to create a strategy and a clear plan of how to work with immigration with a well-defined aim of what we want to achieve. I have seen many Swedish municipalities who just go abroad trying to sell their place to unprepared dreamers and I want to avoid this situation. Naturally, all you guys reading this blog are more than welcome :)!

Today I was invited to join the emancipation conference I initiated at the embassy last year. My colleagues at the embassy have worked really hard (especially you Anette!) to make an informative and challenging conference for politicians in the Dutch and Swedish parliament and I am sure it will be a great conference. There is also a documentary film being made and the Dutch filmmaker has a website that I want you Dutch readers to have a look at! Check out www.lofonline.nl

We have bought a huge rabbit cage (or a rabbit brothel as Kristian called it) and this Thursday Jochem painted with the help of five kids. Elsa (8) asked what a brothel is and with four quiet adults around my dad took the word. It is a house he explained! Well, I guess I will hear Elsa say at school that she lives in a brothel!! Now I will do some smaller repairs on the cage and then it is time for the rabbit. My colleague Mikael has already promised us his kid’s rabbit. Lets hear what his kids say about that?

It is time to tuck the kids in!

A fat but cozy mother

The moose hunting season in Sweden has started and I just got an e-mail informing me that a suggested meeting date was absolutely impossible as everyone will be off in two weeks time (I guess the season in Ulricehamn starts in two weeks).

With the continues rain outside I have no wish to be outside and my colleagues told me that I just have to get used to this weather from now on. Autumn is rain and winter should be snow but if we are unfortunate it will be rain this winter as well. Last winter was much too warm and with the current climate developments it does not look as if we are in for a cold winter. Nils asks me every day when the winter will start as he is dreaming about his birthday in December.

I had my family visiting this weekend which was really nice. It is clear that little Ellen (8 months) has our family genes. No one can survive in my family if they don’t talk a lot and Ellen, who does not talk much yet, already knows how to sing and make all kind of sounds. Especially in the early morning hours :)! She is absolutely adorable and the only problem we had was the timesharing of holding her.

Tomorrow I am off to Stockholm for a two day Interreg conference (an EU fond for cooperation between the Nordic countries) and the coming month I am working on a number of applications for different EU related projects. Jochem will be off to the US for two weeks followed by a week in Australia so I will not travel anywhere for some time. I am helping the girls and their friends making pillows and dresses with the new sewing machine and spending the evenings reading for Nils. Yesterday while reading, he said with a sweet voice:
- You are fat and cozy!
When he gets older I´ll tell him to avoid these kind of statements around women but for a mum I guess it is okey!

Chocking nudity

Yesterday I spoke t my friend Katrin. We both work a lot (well, Katrin quite a lot more then me at the moment) and are trying to juggle work, family life, kids and some social activities. I think that 80% of the time that we call each other we do not have the time to talk (and we like to talk) so we usually speak to each other at nighttime. Yesterday we spoke for an hour around nine and then agreed to continue an hour later (Katrin had to get some more work done). At eleven I decided to take a shower and go to bed but just as I turned on the water the phone rang.

Out I went, into our dark bedroom in search of the phone. After six months we still have no lamp in our bedroom! I found the phone and did what I guess most people do who are on the phone. You go to a place where there is light as it feels a bit odd to sit in a dark room. After 20 minutes (time always goes very fast with Katrin!) I realized that I was standing in our lit, window filled hallway at nighttime wearing absolutely nothing! Luckily Ulricehamn does not have an extreme nightlife and our street is more or less dead at night but anyway. God knows how many people who passed our house yesterday evening seeing a phone speaking naked woman on the second floor.

I am not an exhibitionist and you will not even see me topless on a beach in summertime. I envy people who are so comfortable with their bodies that they can be as they are but I am just not like that. The only time people see me naked is when I forget to put on the swimsuit at the swimming pool (happened years ago) or when I mistake a shopping window for a toilet (a very complex and embarrassing story). Actually me friends have selected me as the person with the most embarrassing moments but as I suffer from a very selective memory I live under the notion that I am a controlled and serious person.

Today I am off to give a presentation about international work in an educational environment for headmasters and leaders in Ulricehamn. I will focus on how we reach the once that are not interested in international encounters and how one can be international without leaving Ulricehamn. As a mother of 3 I know how difficult it is to travel and be away for several days but there are many ways of making the world come to you!
Time for work! Have a great day!

I am a soccer mum!

Every week I bring Ingrid to the soccer practice and to the games and stand along the field with all the dads (!?). The season is almost over but today (finally) they won their first game! Way to go girls!!! Next week is the last practice and then the mothers will play against the girls (if we can get a team together). I can’t find my soccer sneakers but even if I did they would probably be too hard and old to use by now. I do admire you girls (almost reaching 40) who are still playing soccer in Nijmegen (the Netherlands). Why is it that we suddenly get too old to do team sports?

For Ingrid the soccer has a really important social function as she gets to know people outside her school environment. They are only 9 kids in her class and with only four girls in the group she feels a need to extend her social network. She still misses her girlfriends in Nijmegen but the sports activities outside school help her to feel more at home here. I understand how she feels. It takes time to make new friends and you have to have some luck as well.

This weekend we enjoyed great autumn weather with a blue sky and walks in the forest. We baked a ladybird cake with Elsa for her birthday and had a pre party with a small group of friends. Time is passing by a bit too fast at the moment and I feel a need to stop it somehow. Maybe the planned weekend trips to the Netherlands and to Stockholm (celebrating 20 years of friendship with Jenny and Helena!!!) this fall will help getting the energy level up again!
Sleep tight!

Lobster fishing or moosehunting?

My colleagues were debating during lunch hour weather the lobster season (which starts the first Monday after the 20th of September) is more extreme then the moose hunting season. I guess you can compare these two events with the week of carnival in south Limburg (the Netherlands). Suddenly nothing else matters. Shops are closed, there is only one subject on the agenda and people get totally obsessed. The lobster fishing does not happen here in Ulricehamn but along the west coast of Sweden and I have never seen it or experienced to my colleagues big surprise. We have fishing and crayfish rights at the lake where our summerhouse is located so next summer we will try to catch some crayfish. The lobster fishing will have to wait:)!

This weekend Elsa had her first lesson of horse back riding. Instead of joining the local club in Ulricehamn we went to a farm in Dalum (a few kilometers outside Ulricehamn) where the lessons are held in the forest. It was a cold but sunny Sunday morning and all kids got a pony each and off they went into the forest. The parents walked as a group a bit behind in a quiet untouched forest passing small rivers, large stones and it was a very peaceful 1 ½ hour walk. Elsa loved it and asked if she could do this every day.

It is getting colder and the changing of season is much more noticeable here then in the Netherlands (or in Lund, south of Sweden, for that matter). I like that. Suddenly one want to light the candles, drink hot chocolate and read a good book after a day of working in the garden. My parents-in-law are here now and Nell is making use of our apples and pears. Elsa’s birthday is coming up and she wants to have a baking party and will get a sewing machine for her birthday. So, during the dark afternoons and evenings to come we will be busy making pillows, blankets and other nice things.

Dutch invaders

When I told my colleagues at the embassy in the Hague that I was moving back to Sweden to the small town of Ulricehamn the ambassador said;
- I guess we will see you back here next year at the emigration fair, trying to attract some Dutch people to Ulricehamn!
More and more people in Sweden move to the bigger cities and in some parts of the country small towns have completely disappeared. Everyone has moved away to places where you can find jobs or get the services you need in today’s life.

Borås is a city located half an hour drive from Ulricehamn. 150 years ago the cities (Ulricehamn and Borås) had the same size. This was the textile region of Sweden. Today Ulricehamn has approx. 22 600 inhabitants and Borås 65 000. What happened? Well, one thing is for sure. Ulricehamn was not ready when the textile industry moved away from Sweden.

The goal for Ulricehamn is to become 25 000 inhabitant in 2020 and there are many ideas on how to reach this. One idea is to attract foreign companies and the Dutch have showed many Swedish municipalities that they are good at settling in and starting their own businesses. So, now I am working on this while Jochem worries about the Dutch invasion! The emigration fair takes place in the beginning of next year but I will visit the Netherlands already in the end of November and I hope to see many of you then (I will be in Nijmegen and the Hague from the 19th to the 23rd).

As for life in Ulricehamn the semester has started and the kids are busy with school and all their sports activities. We just heard that the football season will be over in two weeks and wont start until April! Surprising but Ingrid will try handball and badminton instead and Elsa will start horseback riding on Sunday. Jochems parents are arriving on Friday for a 10 days visit and in two weeks time we welcome my family to celebrate Elsas 8th birthday. Time really flies!

Making the right choices

Elsa (who is turning 8 in a few weeks time) asked me today why there are mothers who leave their newborn babies at the hospital. She had seen a piece on the news. What do you tell a child when they come with such a question? I tried to explain that there are people who feel that they are in such a bad situation that they see no other option and that they think that their child will be better off with someone else.
- So it is not because they don’t like their child then, Elsa asked.
No, I answered. Almost all parents love their children very, very much!

As a parent you never really know if you are doing the right thing. You try to. I want to be a good mother and I want to give them a start in life that will make them strong enough to make the right choices at the right time. But how do you prepare them for life? When our guards in South Africa used machine guns on burglars in our back yard the kids slept through it all. When a paedophile was picked up outside our kid’s school in the Netherlands we never told the kids anything. Was I worried? Of course, but I did not want my fear to reach them.

Compared to our life in Johannesburg and in Boston, life in Sweden is pretty safe. Yet, things do happen everyday and everywhere. I don’t want my kids to worry. I don’t want them to know the full picture yet (which I myself can not comprehend anyway). And at the same time you cannot let them live in a bubble. They see things, hear things and they want to know. They have a right to know – at least at a certain age.

But, why do some people leave their children behind in today’s society? I have no good answer but I think that whatever the reason might be it is never done easily.